


In the Mood

by dr_ducktator



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-11
Updated: 2011-08-11
Packaged: 2017-10-22 12:42:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/238113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dr_ducktator/pseuds/dr_ducktator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s 1941, before the bombing of Pearl Harbor, and WW II has yet to really affect the United States.  Jensen owns a small hardware store in downtown San Francisco.  Jared is a graduate student studying nuclear physics at Berkeley, and he’s on the verge of a major discovery.  These two never would have met if it weren’t for their mutual love of swing music and a place called The Underground, where swing is king and anything goes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Mood

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the spn_j2_bigbang at LJ. Inspired by a certain moment from the film _Swing Kids_.

**In the Mood**

 **By dr_ducktator**

 **Jensen**

It was Friday night.  Jensen closed up Ackles Hardware from the inside, locking the door and flipping over the sign on the door to read “Closed” in big, black letters.  He turned on his heel and headed toward the store’s office.  He had receipts to go through and the till to settle, but all of that could wait until tomorrow; it was Friday, and Friday night was his night.

The door that led to the apartment over the hardware store was located in the office, so he turned off the small radio on the desk, turned off the office light, then the rest of the store’s lights, and ran up the stairs, nearly tripping himself in his excitement. 

He hadn’t gotten very grimy at the store during the day, so he decided against a bath, opting instead to freshen up at the sink in his bathroom.  He walked through his small apartment into his bedroom and turned on the radio to listen to the evening’s program.  Jensen lived for music; he couldn’t play it, not really, at least not the kind of music that really moved him both emotionally and physically, anyway, so he listened.  And he listened all the time, wherever and whenever he could.  Nothing affected him like music did.  He didn’t know where his love for music came from, but his mother used to tell him whenever there was music on when he was a boy he moved to it.  As “Swingtime In the Rockies” floated throughout his apartment, Jensen couldn’t help but dance as he stood in front of his bathroom mirror.  He loved Benny Goodman. 

He brushed his teeth, washed his face and hands, put a little oil on his comb and ran it through his hair to keep it back and out of his face.  Sometimes he didn’t know why he bothered slicking his hair back; it always ended up in his face.

He walked back to the radio and turned it off. He needed something peppier, so he put on a record.  He bounced out into the hallway and headed back to his bedroom closet, swaying his hips to “Put A Lid On It” while he figured out what he wanted to wear out tonight.  Jensen loved his suits though he didn’t have many.  His little store did well, located in the heart of San Francisco and nestled in among other small shops on the street.  His father founded Ackles Hardware in 1902, but the store went to Jensen when his mother and father retired and moved to Phoenix to be near Jensen’s brother Josh and his family.  He was proud of the store and loved his job, and it didn’t bother him in the least that his family lived so far away.  Of course he missed them and wished he could see them more often, but his “way of life” wasn’t exactly something he wanted to discuss with them.

Being gay in San Francisco in 1941 wasn’t ideal, but he figured being gay anywhere wasn’t exactly ideal.  Well, for him it was ideal because he couldn’t _not_ be gay, but for people who didn’t approve of him or who he loved – when he did find love – his life was unnatural.  Not that Jensen broadcasted his sexuality, but there were always looks, smirks, a stray comment or two, and the fact that he was 25 and unmarried seemed to tell people a lot. 

Jensen kept getting distracted by the music.  He’d almost made a decision on an outfit for the evening, then a particularly excellent song would come on the record player and he’d dance.  He had to.  He was a damn good dancer, too, and he knew it.  Jensen couldn’t hear swing and not move.  He didn’t understand how anyone could hear swing and not just _move_.  Realizing it was approaching 8 o’clock Jensen made a concerted effort to pick out his clothes.  He decided on the dark chocolate-colored suit; he always felt alluring in it, and Friday was a night to feel sexy, he thought.  He buttoned up the white shirt and tucked it into the trousers before fastening his suspenders and slipping the vest over top.  He tied his new tie – brown with green accents (he knew it brought out the color of his eyes) – then slipped his feet into his brown wingtips and slid the jacket over his shoulders.

He hummed “Ain’t Misbehavin’” to himself as he stepped in front of the mirror.  “You look good, kid,” he said to his reflection, topping off his ensemble with the fedora his sister had gotten him for his birthday.  “Now,” he spoke to himself again – he always needed to psych himself up for going out – “it’s time to misbehave.”  He chuckled at his own bravado and posturing in front of the mirror, but the truth was he was going to misbehave, at least according to standards of ‘decency’, whatever the hell that was supposed to mean.  What so many called ‘indecent’ he called fun, and Friday was the night for a hell of a lot of indecency.

Jensen stepped out the back door of the shop and into the cool evening air; June nights in California were always Jensen’s favorite.  Everyone was always in a good mood in San Francisco in June.  He didn’t know what it was, but he wasn’t going to question it.  Whatever worked for people, he figured.  Cutting through the alley, Jensen had a specific route mapped out.  The Underground was only five or six blocks from his store, but you had to be sneaky about getting there.  The first few times Jensen went on his own after Christian showed him the way it took him nearly two hours to find the door.  The Underground was a secret known only to an insignificant number of people as far as the population of San Francisco went, but an extremely significant number as far as people who loved swing music and dancing went.  There were never fewer than 100 people every time Jensen went and some Fridays he’d seen easily 300 people crammed into The Underground having the time of their lives.

As he followed his usual path to The Underground.  Jensen smiled as he thought of what that place meant to him.  In so many ways it meant freedom.  At the Underground they didn’t care about who you were as long as you weren’t an asshole to anyone else.  Jensen loved the diversity of the people there every week.  Your skin color didn’t matter, your clothing didn’t matter (even though Jensen loved dressing up to go to The Underground), your religion didn’t matter, no one batted an eyelash if men danced with other men or women with other women, and no one gave a shit about who kissed whom.  The Underground was for music and dancing, and Jensen thought it was the best place on the planet.

The entrance to The Underground was nondescript.  That was the point.  But now that Jensen knew how to find his way, it seemed like the door glowed.  Gripping the door handle, Jensen could feel the music vibrating the metal.  It sent happy shivers down his spine and he couldn’t wait to get inside.  He pulled the door open and the vibration grew a little; he walked down a dark hallway that sharply sloped downward and around a corner where ahead stood a second door.  The stretch of darkness scared the hell out of him the first and second times he’d been there on his own.  When he’d gone with Christian before he didn’t remember it being so damn dark, so he’d nearly started hyperventilating because he’d convinced himself he was in the wrong place and was going to be killed at any moment.  Jensen wasn’t ashamed of his sexuality, but he also knew safety.  Dark, unknown places weren’t exactly safety indicators.  But now the darkness was comforting in a way, and the only apprehension he felt in those few moments between doors was that he couldn’t get inside fast enough.  He wanted that music, the band, the giant room filled with so much sound he couldn’t catch his breath because he was saturated with it.

As he neared the second door the sound grew in intensity.  He pulled the door open and was immediately awash in an assault on his senses – a welcome assault, to be sure.  The Underground was underground, part of the basement or something of some larger building that had been destroyed in the earthquake 32 years prior.  Some rich couple had given Aldis – the bandleader – a huge sum of money to have the place fixed up.  He’d done an amazing job, and Jensen marveled at its beauty every time he walked in the door.  The main room was massive, bathed in the warmth afforded by deep reds and golds, with tables forming the outer boundary of the dance floor, a bar in the back, and a stage for the band that stood at least eight feet off the floor.  The place was always immaculate; Jensen had no idea how Aldis kept the place running.  He never asked him exactly how much money he’d gotten from the rich couple, but he assumed it wasn’t a one-time donation.  At the same time, though, he knew that the band didn’t get paid; they were there because they loved to play.  The musicians had day jobs, of course, but day jobs paled in comparison to having people dance because you played for them.  That’s what Christian told him, anyway.  Jensen was just grateful to have the band at all.  The Underground always smelled like an amalgamation of all manner of delights: cigarette smoke, whiskey, perfume, cologne, sweat, sex, brass, wood polish, show polish, and amidst all those smells, fresh air.  Jensen had no idea how it could smell like fresh air in there, but it did, and it circulated with all of the other smells Jensen had come to appreciate here. 

He stood just inside the entrance surveying the scene before him.  Because he’d taken so long getting ready he came a little later than usual and the place was thrumming with life.  The band was playing “Sing, Sing, Sing (With a Swing)” and couples were on the floor dancing like they would die if they stopped.  Jensen knew that feeling, especially when it came to that song.  He can’t describe what music does to him.  He’d tried and failed to tell Christian.  He thought if anyone would get it it’d be Christian since he’s a musician, but he doesn’t dance.  Jensen figured Christian just felt music differently than he did. 

When he did try to explain it came out something like this, if Jensen’s memory served him: “I don’t just hear music, Christian, I feel it, too.  Like with “Sing, Sing, Sing”; everything about it is happy.  The drums make my skin feel alive and warm, and the horns? Jesus! The horns are aces, man.  I actually tried to sit still once when I listened to my record at home. It was impossible. My legs just kept jumping. And that fucking key change at the end? I feel like I’m gonna have a heart attack every time it kicks in.”  He was breathless just trying to explain it to Christian.  Christian just stared back at him with an amused look on his face.  Jensen didn’t understand how Christian couldn’t just get it.

Casting his gaze to the tables at the back of the room he saw Chad had already reserved one.  He headed toward where Chad sat, unable to keep his fingers from snapping to the beat as the band blasted the room with some song he didn’t recognize straight away but made him feel good nonetheless. 

When he got to where Chad was seated Jensen took off his hat and tossed it on the table in front of him and pulled out a chair.

Chad let out a low whistle and gave Jensen an appraising look. “Damn, J-man, what’s the occasion?”

Jensen eyed him suspiciously.  “What do you mean? I always wear a suit here on Fridays.”

“True. But you don’t always look so smooth.  You’re togged to the bricks, man. What gives?”

Jensen rolled his eyes. Chad always had a flair for the dramatic, and the man loved to pick up and use any and all slang he could.  “ _Togged to the bricks_? I’m not _that_ dressed up man, I just got a new suit and wanted to wear it tonight.  Besides, who cares if I am dressed up? I’m a man who likes to look nice.  And, if a man happens to come here tonight who likes the way I look in this suit, that’s just fine with me.” He smiled and winked at Chad.

“I don’t envy you, man. It’s hard enough trying to find a dame who ain’t a gold digger, let alone some joe.  It’s not like people run around yelling that they’re gay, pally, even here,” Chad said gesturing at the giant room they were in.

Jensen met Chad through Christian.  He wasn’t sure how they knew each other, but Jensen took an immediate liking to the big-mouthed kid.  Despite his ridiculous overuse of “hip” terminology, even throwing a derogatory term at him every now and then, he knew Chad didn’t give a shit who fucked whom, and he was all hot air. 

Chad continued, “You may be in luck tonight, my friend. See, I know this guy.  We’re real close, have been since we were kids.  He’s wanted to come down to The Underground for a long time, but he’s been behind the grind so he hasn’t been able to.  He used to come every week, long before you showed up, but he’s been about killing himself with work so he’s been M.I.A.”

“Chad. No. You didn’t set me up with him or something, did you?” Jensen felt more uncomfortable by the minute, fantastic swing in his ears or not.

“Jesus, Ackles. No, I didn’t set you up. But I wanted to let you know he’d be here tonight. He’s cool. He’s not a crumb or dead hoofer, he’s a total alligator, and he’s a gunsel like you! Perfect!” Chad picked up his drink and toasted the air toward Jensen.

Jensen scrubbed his hand over his face.  “Damn, Chad, enough with the lingo.  Speak English, man.  And cut that ‘gunsel’ shit. Don’t think I don’t know what that means.”

Chad looked a little humbled by Jensen’s admonition, but it didn’t last long and his nearly embarrassed look turned into a grin quickly. “Okay, Mr. Ackles, sir, I will translate: he’s cool, he can dance, he loves swing, and he’s a homosexual male.  That better, kitten?”

“Much.” Jensen blew Chad a kiss just to piss him off.

“Watch that shit, J-man.” Chad leaned in low over the table.  “If some looker sees you making a kissy face and blinking your giant peepers at me, I’ll never get any action!”

Jensen laughed and stood up. “I’m sorry, Chad. Wouldn’t want anyone mistaking _you_ for a gunsel.  I’m gonna grab a whiskey. I’ll be right back.”

Chad nodded and returned to scanning the crowd.  Jensen felt bad for Chad sometimes. He was a great guy when his mouth wasn’t in the way, and sadly, it usually was.  That made dating difficult for Chad, except, of course, for the “gold diggers” he talked about from time to time.  Chad’s family had a lot of money. Immense amounts of money, actually.  Jensen didn’t know how immense, but he knew the Murrays were connected in some way to Berkeley, and he’d been burned badly by some girl he’d fallen hard for.  When Chad found out it was just for his money, Jensen had never seen anyone so broken before.  Since then Chad’s been really wary of ever letting himself get “dizzy with a dame” ever again.  Jensen smiled as he remembered Chad’s words.

After retrieving his whiskey, Jensen made the rounds and greeted some of the other people he’d met while going to The Underground.  He hadn’t always been the most social person; he liked people, but he was usually pretty reserved.  Being at The Underground helped him shake some of that shyness, though, and owning the hardware store didn’t hurt either.  But being at the club made him feel more at home than he ever could at the store, so he opened up a little more, feeling lighter, smiling easier, laughing louder, and just enjoying being in a place where he didn’t feel like he had to hide.

He returned to an empty table save his fedora but he wasn’t alone long when a pretty young woman approached him.  He smiled and stood to greet her.  “Good evening, Madame.” Jensen took her hand and kissed it as he bowed low.  Just because Jensen was gay didn’t mean he didn’t know how to charm women, too.

This woman was beyond his charms, though. She knew him too well.  “Can it, Ackles,” she snapped good-naturedly at him.  She slapped him on his backside and plopped in one of the empty chairs at the table.  “So, where’s this Adonis Chad has lined up for you, huh?”

Jensen almost fell out of the chair he was settling into.  “What Adonis, Danneel? What have you heard?”  He slapped his hand on the table.  “Damn it, Chad! Jesus Christ, he _did_ set me up!”

Danneel patted Jensen’s arm. “Settle down, sweetheart, it’s just a guy.  And no, Chad didn’t set you up, he just told me his friend would be coming tonight and that he was a looker.  And if _Chad_ says another man is a looker I assume he’s gotta be pretty amazing.”  She sipped at her martini while Jensen tried to calm down.  “Besides, what’s wrong with your friends trying to find you someone to fuck?”

Firmly seated in his chair, Jensen spit out the mouthful of whiskey he was about to swallow. Danneel had a mouth on her like a sailor and it had taken Jensen some time to get used to it.  He didn’t hear women curse much, so when he did it always surprised him a little.  Combine his already jangly nerves, the possibility of meeting someone who apparently looks like a god, and Danneel throwing a ‘fuck’ in there for good measure, there’s no way he could have kept that whiskey from leaving his mouth.  Danneel laughed, clearly delighted by the effect she had on him.  He was about to tell her off, but she’d apparently accepted an invitation to dance and disappeared as stealthily as she arrived. 

Jensen slumped in his chair.  He’d been at The Underground for an hour already and he hadn’t gotten to dance once.  He was going to ask Danneel, but she was out on the floor with some other guy and they looked very cozy.  He’d wait until the song was over.  As “Stardust” continued to set a romantic atmosphere about the room, Jensen looked at the couples and sighed.  He couldn’t help it.  He really wanted to dance with someone the way you’re supposed to dance to a song like “Stardust.”  He was a hopeless romantic.  No, he was a hopeful romantic.

Just as he was thinking about becoming a little maudlin over his lack of a dance partner, a rumpled-looking Chad returned to the table with a sly grin on his face.  He sat down gracelessly in a chair and swallowed the rest of the drink he’d left on the table earlier.  “Damn, J-man, you see that canary on stage?  That’s Katherine Cassidy. Well, Katie to me, I guess.” Jensen directed his attention to where Chad pointed and saw a fair-haired young woman preparing to sing.  The opening notes of “Summertime” rang out and Jensen smiled.  He had a feeling the beautiful woman had something to do with Chad’s state of appearance.  “A set of pipes and great stems ain’t the only things she has going for her.” Chad rubbed his lips as he said this, and Jensen decided not to press for more information; he figured he knew what Chad was talking about.

At the risk of sounding desperate, Jensen swallowed his pride and snapped his fingers at Chad, breaking him from his near-hypnotic state.  “So, uh, where’s your friend?”

Chad clapped his hands together and grinned wickedly, his eyes wide with excitement. “Shit, Jen, you were hoping I’d set you up, I knew it!  He should be here before 10, and don’t worry, you’re gonna blow your wig when you see him.”

“What if he doesn’t ‘ _blow his wig_ ’ when he sees me?” Jensen asked as he worried the brim of his fedora with his fingers.

“Jesus, Jensen. Don’t get your panties in a twist. You know you’re a catch.  Jared’s really great. Just, try not to worry, okay?” Chad smiled warmly at Jensen and once again he was reminded of how Chad could surprise him with his kindness and sincerity.  He mentally crossed his fingers that he and Katie, who was singing “Summertime” like an angel, would be the girl for him.

Jensen was about to say as much to Chad but as he lifted his eyes to look at his strange friend that never failed to bowl him over in one way or another, he noticed Chad’s focus had shifted away from the woman on the stage and toward the door.  Chad hopped out of his chair and gestured wildly, clearly trying to get someone’s attention.  Jensen turned in his chair, figuring Chad’s friend had arrived.  There were a lot of people blocking his line of vision as couples headed to the floor so they could jitterbug to the new song Katie was about to sing. 

Out of the corner of his eye Jensen saw Chad leave the table. Jensen figured that Chad probably realized his jumping up and down wouldn’t get his friend’s attention, and was on his way to retrieve him.  As the new song started, Jensen turned away from watching the couples and let his eyes wander over to where he figured Chad might be.  He saw Chad first, of course, because he knew Chad.  What he didn’t notice immediately, and upon later reflection he had no idea how, was the man with Chad.  This man, who must have been Jared if the way he was smiling at Chad was any indication, was striking to say the least.  Jensen couldn’t help but notice that the words Katie was singing were way too perfect: _Who’s the lovin’ daddy with the beautiful eyes? What a pair of lips, I’d like to try them for size_ … He also noticed he was staring with his mouth hanging open.

He snapped his mouth shut quickly, wincing because he managed to bite his tongue in the process.  Tears welled up in his eyes, but he retained as much of his composure as he could.  If Jared was a great as Chad said he was _and_ that handsome, he wanted to make a very good first impression.

 

 **Part Two**

Chad bounded over to the table with Jared on his heels.  “Jensen! This is my man Jared Padalecki.  Jared? This is Jensen Ackles.”

Jensen stood up and leaned over the table to shake the hand Jared had offered him.  “Hi, Jensen. It’s great to finally meet you. Chad’s been talking about you for some time, and it’s nice to put a face with the name.”  Jensen’s hand felt warm in Jared’s, the smoothness of the skin contrasted slightly by the calluses on his own hand from working with hardware all day, and Jensen took an immediate liking to the feeling.

“Hello, Jared. It’s very nice to meet you, too.  I don’t know how we could both have known Chad for any stretch of time and not run into each other sooner.”  The three of them settled in at the table and made small talk until the song ended and Chad launched himself out of his chair, calling out “Keep yourselves occupied. I have a date with destiny!” over his shoulder as he made a beeline for the stage and Katie.

“So, Jared,” Jensen started, taking a sip of his whiskey, “Chad mentioned you’re a student?”

Jared had a knowing smile on his face, and the intense eye-contact he maintained with Jensen made him feel a little flushed.  “Yeah, I’m at Berkeley. Physics, actually. It’s really hard stuff but I love it.”

Jared glanced at the glass in Jensen’s hand and Jensen and Jensen wanted to slap himself for being rude. “Oh! Where are my manners? Can I get you a drink, Jared? What’s your poison?”

“I like whiskey. And yeah, I’d love a drink, if you don’t mind.”

 Jared reached into his pocket, but Jensen stopped him. “No, it’s on me. You can get the next one, okay?”

Jared smiled at Jensen and he didn’t know how he missed the dimples when he saw him smiling at Chad before.  Maybe he was busy trying to process the sheer size of Jared, or the way his hair fell forward from his not using enough oil to keep it back, or perhaps he was distracted by the way his eyes flashed when he smiled.  It could have been any of these things, but Jensen reasoned he missed Jared’s dimples because he was too busy swimming in the bizarreness that the song playing was mirroring his thoughts at that moment. 

“You have dimples,” Jensen said.  He wanted to run away.  He wanted to pretend he didn’t say something so inane. He wanted to go up to the bar like nothing happened.

“I do. I was born with them, actually.” Jared smiled again, no mocking tone in his voice, and Jensen relaxed a little.

“Okay. Um. How about I get those drinks?” He turned on his heel and tried not to run to the bar. 

Danneel came up to him while he waited for the bartender to fill his order.  She bumped his hip with hers and said, “So? What’s the verdict on Mr. Big Six?” as she leaned on the bar trying to get the bartender’s attention.

Jensen sighed and couldn’t help the small smile that crept to his lips. “Well, he’s beautiful, that’s for sure. We haven’t gotten a chance to talk much yet, though. I get a little shy.”

“You don’t look shy,” Danneel protested. “Well, not when you’re dancing anyway.”

“That’s different. When we dance I don’t think about how I might look or worry about saying something silly. I just move. That’s all I have to do.”  The bartender handed Jensen his drinks and Jensen turned away from Danneel to return to the table.  He didn’t want to keep Jared waiting.

Just as he was about to walk away he felt Danneel’s hand on his shoulder.  He turned back to her to see her smiling softly.  “Jensen? Just remember you’re fantastic. And I don’t just mean when you dance, though I love being on your dance card, sweetness.”  She blew him a kiss and walked away.

He wanted to thank her for the little confidence boost, but he could do that later. He had a man to get to know.

He arrived back at the table and was greeted by a smiling Jared.  Jensen marveled at how Jared smiled so much, even in the short amount of time he’d been in his acquaintance.  “Sorry that took so long,” he said as he sat next to Jared and slid his drink over to him. “Whiskey-rocks, right?”

Jared nodded, thanked him, and picked up the glass.  They each took a drink from their respective whiskeys and Jensen was transfixed by Jared’s fingers as they held the glass up to his mouth.  They were long, slender fingers, and Jensen was struck by how beautiful everything about Jared was – even his damn fingers.  Jensen took an extra long gulp before setting his glass down, hoping Jared would steer the conversation a little.  It’s not so much that Jensen hated small talk.  It was more that he liked to study people when he first met them, and Jared was proving to be a fascinating subject.  Given the right impetus, Jensen would talk your ear off, but he preferred to gather as much reconnaissance as he could beforehand.

Jared placed his glass on the table and leaned forward toward Jensen, extending one hand to rest on the knee Jensen couldn’t keep from bouncing to the music that filled the room.  “Jensen, do you wanna dance?”

Jensen stilled his leg and was mildly disappointed that he gave Jared the idea that he didn’t want to be sitting there with him.  He knew he should have kept on talking instead of staring at his hands.  He must have looked bored or something.  “Oh, no, that’s okay. I like being here with you.”  Jensen noticed Jared’s hand hadn’t left his knee so he gave it a quick pat.  He didn’t want to be too forward.

Jared laughed and squeezed Jensen’s knee.  “Jensen! God, I like you already. I wasn’t asking if you wanted to leave me so you could dance.  I was trying to ask you if you wanted dance – with me.”

Jensen was trying to process a couple of things from the moment Jared laughed to when he said “me.”  The first was Jared’s laugh. The tone or rhythm of the laugh wasn’t anything remarkable necessarily, but the way it hit Jensen was.  That laugh went through him immediately. It was like he collided with the laugh. It struck him like music did.  The second thing was that Jared had just finished asking Jensen to dance with him. The night was looking up now that his dance card wasn’t so empty.

“I’m sorry, Jared,” Jensen laughed and rolled his eyes at himself. “You will have to forgive me. I’m a little nervous.  But yes, I’d really like to dance with you.  I’ve heard Chad tell of your dancing prowess, so prepare to wow me.”

“I will do my best,” Jared said as he stood and offered his hand to Jensen.

He took Jared’s hand reveling once again in the contrast between the softness of Jared’s skin and his own, rougher skin.  He was about to get lost in the feeling when he felt Jared pulling him toward the floor and “Jump Jive An’ Wail” started up.  Jensen couldn’t help but move to the music as he followed Jared to the middle of the dance floor, and he also couldn’t help but keep his eyes trained on Jared’s backside as it was shimmying to the beat the band kept. 

Reaching the center of the dance floor Jared turned to face Jensen, his face split in a wide grin as he continued to hold Jensen’s right hand in his own.  Jensen quickly realized they didn’t have to worry about who would lead and who would follow; they both fell into the boogie woogie easily.  Jensen thought maybe Jared ended up leading since he was taller, but the logistics of it didn’t matter because Jensen was caught up in the music, in the feel of Jared’s hand in his, the way Jared’s face lit up as he danced, the way Jared moved so gracefully, his legs doing what they should do in the boogie woogie, like they were independent from the rest of his body.  He marveled at the way Jared moved, and he let himself be swept up in the music, moving his legs in counterpoint to Jared’s.

Jared pulled him in close and pushed him back out, just like he should, and Jensen was amazed that he didn’t have a hard time following Jared.  He was used to dancing lead since he’d never had the opportunity to dance with a man let alone someone larger than he was, so it was both strange and comforting.  He felt the music so deeply that it was like he wasn’t even controlling what he was doing; the music was doing the work for him. 

Jared spun him around and he could see the stage.  He’d been so into the music he hadn’t realized it was Christian singing the song.  He didn’t watch Christian for long.  He had Jared to watch and dancing to do, but he could tell Christian was in his element and enjoying every minute of it.

Jensen felt like he and Jared were the only ones on the floor.  He thought Jared was thinking something along the same lines because he looked like he was radiating happiness.  Or maybe it’s just that he was projecting his own.  It didn’t really matter either way as long as Jared kept looking at him like he was in that moment: like he couldn’t move the wrong way, like he was fascinating, like he wanted to press him up against the nearest wall and kiss the life out of him.  Jensen was dizzy with that look.

Before he was overtaken by the giddiness, the song wound down and a slower one began.  Jensen turned to pull Jared back toward their table but Jared pulled him in close so they could continue their time on the floor.  Jensen recognized the song, something by Artie Shaw, he thought, but the details seemed unimportant when Jared had entwined their rights arms against his chest.  They were both coming down from the rush of the last song, their breathing returning to normal, their hair completely mussed, both of them a little sweaty.  Jensen couldn’t hold back the smirk on his face as he thought how dancing and sex were so much alike, at least physically.  Emotionally, nothing matched dancing for Jensen, though he hoped someday it might.

“What are you smiling about?” Jared asked him, bringing him back to the moment.

Jensen laughed nervously. “Nothing really, sorry.”

“No, c’mon, you can tell me. What was it? Whatever it was you looked pretty happy.  Was it my stellar ability to cut a rug?”

Jensen moved his free hand from Jared’s waist and rubbed it across his mouth as he answered.  It came out sounding like “Mwe nuk n nwe ahd six,” and Jared was obviously displeased with his response because he’d tilted Jensen’s face up so their eyes met. 

“Sorry, Jensen, I didn’t catch that.”

Jared’s eyes were definitely mirthful and he had a playful tilt to his mouth, so Jensen decided to suck it up and be an adult about this.  Jensen held Jared’s gaze as best he could and repeated, this time without the aid of his hand, “We look like we had sex.”  He squinted and looked down at their joined hands waiting for Jared to tell him how ridiculous he was, but the words never came.  He didn’t know how long he waited, but Jared was clearly waiting for Jensen to look back up at him before he was going to say anything at all, so Jensen risked the upward glance.  He didn’t know why he expected anything else as all he’d seen Jared do that evening was smile, but after having said something so bold he couldn’t help but be a little surprised to see Jared grinning at him like he knew something Jensen didn’t.  It was a little unsettling and very sexy at the same time. 

“That makes sense,” Jared said after what seemed like an interminable silence.  Jensen knew it couldn’t have been forever, though, because the song – “Moonglow” Jensen remembered the name – was still playing.  “After all,” Jared continued, sliding his hand excruciatingly slowly down Jensen’s back, “dancing and sex are similar, aren’t they?  Two people moving together in a rhythm they set according to the way their bodies respond to something beyond their control, their breathing heavy as sweat beads on their skin, moving fast and faster, the sense of urgency building until,” Jared’s hand cupped Jensen’s ass as he leaned in and brushed his lips against his ear, “there’s release.”

Jared’s lips felt like they were burning his ear, “release” an obscene kind of breeze on his skin.  He could feel goose bumps rise up on his neck and he swallowed hard.  “Yeah,” Jensen spoke, his voice barely above a whisper.  It was all the volume he could muster. “Something like that.”

Jared pulled back, the playful gleam he had in his eye before had transformed into something darker, wanton, wanting.  Jensen was transfixed by what he saw in Jared’s face, his own feeling of want rushing through him.  He slid his hand to the back of Jared’s head and was about to bring their lips together when he felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder.

“Gentleman!” Chad. Of course it was Chad.  Jensen made a mental note to thank Chad for introducing him to Jared and to punch him in the face for interrupting what was sure to be the most fantastic kiss of his life.  “How are we getting along? Swimmingly, I hope.”

Jared looked as excited to see Chad as Jensen was, his jaw clenched in annoyance.  “We were doing just fine, Chad, until you cut in.”

Chad clearly didn’t get the hint, opting to slap a hand on Jared’s and Jensen’s backs as he led them back to their table.  Once they were seated Chad motioned for Jared and Jensen to lean in, as if what he was about to tell them was both top secret and incredibly important.  “Boys, I think I’m in love.  Katie is amazing.  She sings, she dances, she’s smart, funny, and has legs that don’t quit.”

Jensen leaned back in his chair, opting to look for Jared’s reaction to Chad’s confession of love rather than throw in his own two cents.  Jared’s face was a clear mixture of confusion and concern.  “Chad,” Jared began, his tone lacking any cruelty, “if I recall correctly, the last woman you believed you were in love with and had, how did you phrase it? Oh yeah, ‘had legs up to here’,” he held his hand flat up under his chin, “left you broken hearted, feeling hopeless, and drunk for weeks.”

Jensen’s eyes grew wide.  He knew Chad had a rough go of it after his last girlfriend, but he didn’t know it was as bad as Jared’s description of Chad indicated. Apparently Chad was very good at putting on a brave and seemingly sober face.  Again Chad surprised him, and, like every other time Chad did something that made Jensen take a closer look at him, he wondered why he hid behind the façade he’d built up.  Jensen guessed Jared might know the answer to that question, and if he got to spend as much time with Jared as he found himself wanting to he’d ask him about it.

“Jaybird, I appreciate your concern for yours truly, but fear not.  This time, I’m being really careful.  I’m not rushing into anything.”

“Um, Chad?” Jensen decided his two cents may be worth sharing after all.  “Feel free to tell me to butt out here, but how long have you known Katie?” Chad shrugged as if to indicate he hadn’t known her very long. “I guess I’m just a little fuzzy on how saying you’re possibly already in love with her _isn’t_ rushing things.”  He glanced over at Jared whose face was unreadable.

“Jen, I’m not going to tell you to butt out, but I will say this: I don’t know how much room you two,” Chad pointed at both he and Jared “have to talk if they way you were about to swallow each other whole on the dance floor not five minutes ago is any indication of what “rushing it” means.” He turned the hand that he’d been pointing and them and aimed it at his own eyes saying, “Remember lovelies, these shutters don’t miss a damned thing.”  He strolled away looking very smug. Jensen knew Chad was perfectly entitled to that little flash of self-righteousness. 

 

He and Jared looked at each other and burst out laughing.  “He never ceases to amaze me,” Jensen said, slightly awestruck. 

 

“Yeah,” Jared said. “He’s full of all kinds of things that will consistently shock the shit of me and I’ve known him forever.  He’s been my best friend for as long as I can remember, and I’ve seen him in love with about a hundred girls.  He falls quickly, he falls hard, and every time he’s left holding the bag.”  He sighed and ran his hand through his still dance-tussled hair. “But you know what? I’ve been there for every single fall.  I always help him back up and I always will, even if the son of a bitch won’t listen to my advice – or yours, apparently.”  His shoulders slumped a little in resignation and he looked lost in thought.  “I worry about the kid, but hell if he isn’t one of the greatest people I’ve ever known.  He’d step in front of a bullet for me, there’s no doubt in my mind.” His brief trance broke and he looked back to Jensen smiling affectionately.  “I’d do the same for him, too. Or for anyone I love.”

 

Jensen took pause at that, wondering if Jared meant anything by it.  It would be absurd if he did, of course.  You don’t fall in love after sharing a dance and a half, but there was no denying that he and Jared had chemistry, so maybe Jared was hinting at something down the line.  Or, the completely rational and sane explanation is that he was talking about Chad and his family.  Jensen let the dancing go to his head too easily sometimes.

 

Jensen and Jared each had another drink but didn’t dance anymore that evening, electing to sit and get to know each other instead.  They talked about their families and how remarkably similar theirs were, Jared asked Jensen about his store, and Jensen asked Jared about school.  He could tell Jared had a passion for what he did.  When Jared spoke about physics and the project he was working on as part of a larger team of other graduate students and their professors his eyes lit up and he had this far away look on his face, like he was imagining exactly how the project was going to come together eventually.  Jensen found that he, too, was enthusiastic for the project, and he had no idea what the hell an atom collider was or what it could do.  He wasn’t dumb by any stretch of the imagination and he knew it, but his knowledge of physics was severely limited, and he learned more about the discipline in the few hours he spent in Jared’s company than he probably would have in an entire lifetime had they never met.  It was an interesting thought.

 

It was nearly 3am when there was any kind of lull in Jensen and Jared’s conversation, and that was only because Aldis had stepped up to the microphone to announce it was closing time.  Most of the crowd let out disappointed groans and a chorus of “Aww” floated through the giant underground room.  Jensen couldn’t help but feel a little let down at the prospect that his time with Jared was coming to an end.  He figured he’d see him again, though, if their moment and near-kiss on the dance floor and subsequent long conversation was any indication. 

 

He stood up and Jared did too, both men buttoning their coats and smoothing back their hair, trying to look presentable for the outside world.  While The Underground wasn’t a total secret, people still left trying to look like they hadn’t been dancing all night.  People even exited in staggered sets so as not to raise suspicions.  No one really believed The Underground would ever be shut down, but no one was willing to take that risk, either. 

 

Neither he nor Jared could find Chad anywhere.  Jared figured he’d snuck out some time ago with Katie in tow as he was wont to do.  Jensen knew he’d hear from Chad tomorrow anyway. 

 

They headed toward the door waiting for their turn to leave.  The Underground had numerous exits, both for safety and for secrecy, and the one they’d chosen seemed to be one of the less popular ones.  “So…” Jared began as their group started moving. “I’m really glad to have finally met you, Jensen.”  They went through the door which led to a tunnel (completely devoid of light, of course) and stepped out into the night.

 

“I am too, Jared.  Really glad.  I’d like to see you again if I could. Maybe even somewhere other than The Underground.  But that’s up to you, of course.  I’m here every Friday, so if you come next week I will be here.  Maybe we can dance again.”  He felt shy and slightly embarrassed, like he was spilling his deepest secrets instead of trying to ask Jared for a date. 

 

“I’d love to,” Jared said, smiling brightly.  “And I’m up for being your dance partner whenever you want.  But if I’m going to be totally honest, I don’t think I can wait a whole week to see you again, and I’m sure I don’t want to.”  Jared turned his attention to the street and Jensen looked to see what had caught his attention.  Before he could register that Jared was making sure no one was around, Jared caressed his face and turned him so Jared could look in his eyes.  Jared’s hand was comforting where it lay, his thumb resting just to the side of the corner of his mouth and his fingers curling slightly behind his left ear.  He was ready for the kiss but instead Jared spoke. “May I kiss you goodnight, Jensen?”

 

Jensen couldn’t help but let out a sigh he was sure Jared couldn’t hear, and he was glad for it.  He didn’t need to come off as a love struck teenager.  Instead, he took hold of Jared’s tie and pulled him closer saying, “You may, Jared.”

 

Jensen got another glimpse of the dimples he still couldn’t figure out how he’d missed and he closed his eyes as he felt Jared’s lips on his.  They were as soft as they appeared, but warmer somehow.  It was the most delicate kiss Jensen had ever had, like perhaps Jared thought he might break him, but there is something to be said for delicacy. The kiss lingered briefly, both men pulling back simultaneously, both wearing matching lazy grins.  Jensen’s heart was beating strongly inside him.  He felt amazing in that moment.

 

Their eyes were still locked as Jensen bid Jared goodnight quietly and turned to head home.  He’d taken maybe four steps when he heard Jared call him back.  “I almost forgot to give you this,” Jared said, and handed over to Jensen a cocktail napkin with his phone number written on it.  “Will you call me tomorrow?”

 

Of course he’d call Jared tomorrow.  How could Jared think he’d not call? Nevertheless it was still nice to look up at Jared and see the hopeful look in his eyes turn to a delighted smile when Jensen answered, “Definitely.”

 

Jensen thought Jared looked like he wanted to kiss him again, and he would have been fine with that, but they seem to have both remembered their very parental warning to Chad earlier that evening and thought better of it.  They bid each other farewell a final time, and Jensen couldn’t help but whistle “It Don’t Mean a Thing (If It Ain’t Got That Swing)” as he shoved his hands in his pocket and half-walked half-danced his way home.

 

 

 **Part Three**

 

Jensen didn’t realize how tired he was until he met the stairway that lead up to his apartment.  The time he spent with Jared flew by too quickly and he would have been happy to spend many more hours with him, but all the adrenaline that had been coursing through his veins all night finally relented and with it his body did, too.

 

He turned his record player on when he walked into his room.  He couldn’t help but put “In the Mood” on.  It was the song that was playing when he met Jared, after all, and as he let the song wash over him he undressed and replayed the night’s events over and over in his mind, pausing to spend a little extra reflection time on their almost-kiss and their goodbye kiss.  His stomach fluttered happily as he hung his jacket back in the closet and assessed the state of his clothing.  He needed to do laundry, but he’d take care of that tomorrow.  The thought of tomorrow made Jensen smile.  After all, tomorrow was really only a few hours away, so it was only a few more hours until he could call Jared.  He’d wait until at least the late afternoon, though.  He didn’t want to seem too eager and he wanted to sleep in a bit before he had to open the store.  And as exciting as the prospect of talking to Jared again was, sleep sounded infinitely more appealing at the moment. 

 

“In the Mood” was concluding as he returned from brushing his teeth, so he pulled the needle off the record and turned off the player before nearly falling into bed.  He had one last fleeting thought of the way Jared’s lips felt against his own before he was asleep.

 

 

Jensen’s alarm rang shrilly the next morning, causing him to fly out of bed so he could shut it off.  The damn thing traumatized him six days a week.  Every Saturday since he started going to The Underground began the same way: Jensen would curse his love of swing because he never got to bed at a decent hour on Fridays, he’d climb out of bed and stumble over to his radio because music was one of the only things that could get him moving in the morning, then he’d make coffee because that was the other thing that could get him in gear.  He didn’t turn the radio on today, opting instead to play “In the Mood” again on his record player.  He couldn’t get enough of the song thanks in part to the memories it now conjured for him. 

He turned the music up as loud as it would go then walked to his kitchen to start his coffee.  He stood in front of the percolator willing it to go faster, as the lyrics of his new favorite song formed on his lips and he sang along. “First he held me lightly when we started to dance. Then he held me tightly what a dreamy romance…” He continued to sing as he poured the coffee and carried down the hall to the bathroom, sipping and humming as we went.  He started the shower and went back into his room to set his coffee down and restart the song.  He loved that he could play his music as loud as he wanted and sing the shower at the top of his lungs because there was no one around to hear him.  Sure, his store and apartment were in a row of buildings pressed tightly together, but the sound didn’t carry through brick.  He was thankful for that. 

The combination of the hot water from the shower, the coffee he had drunk, the music he loved filling his apartment, and thoughts of Jared rejuvenated Jensen.  He pulled on some work clothes he liked to wear while he manned the hardware store and headed down into his office. 

Ackles Hardware was open every Saturday from 10am to 5pm.  Jensen never knew what his Saturdays at the store would be like.  Sometimes he was so busy he’d considered hiring someone to help out, while other weeks the store would be utterly deserted.  He still thought about hiring someone for Saturdays, especially on those days he’d wake up after having only gotten five hours of sleep.  He balanced the till he’d left alone yesterday when he’d closed up in a hurry to get to The Underground, then went through the store straightening things as he went.  He figured his father would be proud of the way he ran the store.  He smiled at the thought. 

He unlocked the front door and turned the sign over to read “Open.”  He hadn’t had his back turned for ten seconds when the bells chimed over the door signaling he had a customer.  “Good morning, Mrs. Caster,” Jensen said, without having to look at who it was.  Mrs. Caster and her husband owned a bakery two stores down from Jensen’s and every Saturday when he opened the store Mrs. Caster would either be waiting outside for him or she’d appear very shortly after he unlocked the door.  She was kind and always brought Jensen something fresh from the oven.  He loved her dearly, not just for her pastries, but also because she liked to mother him and sometimes Jensen missed being mothered a little.

“Hello, sweetheart.  Jensen, dear, how many times are we going to do this? I’ve asked you to call me Myrtle how many times now?” She gave him a no-nonsense kind of look as she set a plate of turnovers on the counter in front of Jensen.

“Well, _Mrs. Caster_ , we’ve done this roughly five thousand times, and every time I will tell you what I always tell you: you are superior to me in every way, therefore I will defer to your authority always.”  He gave her a low bow.

She giggled and slapped his hand.  “Now, Jensen, it’s time for my weekly update.  Meet anyone last night?”

She asked the same question every week since she found out he went to The Underground.  Mr. and Mrs. Caster were much more forward thinking than many people he’d encountered in his life, and that was another reason he loved her so much.  Somewhere along the way he let slip to her that preferred men; he thinks it may have been after the tenth time she tried to set him up on a blind date with “a nice girl” and he was fresh out of excuses – well, good excuses, anyway.  He may have tried to pass off “I can’t because I have to sort nails here at the store” as a viable excuse the last time she asked.  She eyed him suspiciously when he said it, which in turn made him blush and walk away to hide/stand behind the counter.  Jensen didn’t do well under mother-type scrutiny.  Mrs. Caster had kept up the stare and finally he’d cracked, letting “Idon’thaveanythingagainstthegirls,Mrs.Caster,butIlikemen” tumble out of his mouth with a heavy exhale.  Jensen feared her response, expecting a disgusted sounding “Tsk” or a shocked and appalled “Good God!” to come from her, but instead she waved her hand as if to dismiss his fear and replied, “Oh! Well, then, I know this young man who you’d just _love_!”  Just like that. She didn’t bat an eye. Jensen loved her fiercely from that moment on, even if she still wanted to set him up on torturous blind dates.

He couldn’t help the smile that lit up his face.  “Actually, I did, but would be ungentlemanly of me to elaborate.”  He laughed at the crestfallen look on Mrs. Caster’s face.  “I’m kidding! I will spill my guts to you, as usual.”  She perked up at that, moving behind the counter and sitting on the chair Jensen kept there for her visits.  “His name is Jared.  He’s a graduate student at Berkeley,” he held up his hand to stem the tide of questions Mrs. Caster looked ready to unleash. “Just let me give you the details then you can ask all the questions, you want,” he said with a chuckle.  “He’s studying physics and he’s working on a big project, something about a collider. I don’t know what that is, either,” he said in response to her puzzled look.  “He’s tall. Taller than me, that’s for sure.  His hair is styled a bit like mine, though I think it’s a little longer on top, and it’s dark brown.  And very soft.  He has the kindest eyes, and when he smiles he has these dimples that make his smile that much brighter.”  Jensen could feel his cheeks starting to ache because he was smiling so hard.  He drew in a sharp breath. “Oh! And you know what may be the best part? He can _dance_ , Mrs. Caster! And I mean, _really_ dance.  He’s spectacular!  And he’s funny and charming and,” Jensen dipped his head and looked at his shoes, “very dashing.”  He sighed.  He couldn’t help it.  He was in trouble if this was how he felt after just a few hours with Jared.

Mrs. Caster looked nothing but delighted by his story.  It warmed Jensen inside to know she didn’t judge him.  “Well,” she said smiling, “isn’t that just lovely?  I have all kinds of questions, but I will save those for next Saturday. I have to get back to the bakery.”  She rose off the chair and headed toward the front of the store, Jensen following close behind. “When do you get to see your young man again?”

Jensen opened the door for her and smiled shyly. “Well, he isn’t _my_ young man yet, Mrs. Caster.” 

She patted him gently on the cheek then gave him a sharper one, followed by her pointing a finger at him. “It’s Myrtle, Jensen. Work on that, won’t you?”  She kissed him on the cheek and headed back to her own shop.

Jensen closed the door and made a beeline for the pastries she’d left him.  He tucked into one while he waited for enough time to pass before he could call Jared.

 

 **JARED**

Jared didn’t always work on the project on Saturdays, but he was filled with nervous energy and thought he’d try to put it to good use.  He went into the lab, all manner of equations and theories rattling around in his head, so he set pencil to paper and tried to get some of it out.  Studying the notes left by the others working on the project, Jared saw that some of their calculations were off, so he went to the chalkboard and started working back through their math.  He’d easily lost track of time, humming to the music trickling out of the small radio in the lab as he worked on the numbers that somehow danced to the music. 

At 4 o’clock he decided he’d worked his brain enough for one day and left the lab.  As he walked back to his room he smiled at his memories of last night: seeing Jensen for the first time (Chad’s description did him very little justice, but then again, he wasn’t sure how any description of Jensen could capture him accurately – he was that stunning), being charmed by his slight awkwardness, and being totally blown away by the way he danced – it was like he was an extension of the music itself.  Jared couldn’t understand it; Jensen was like poetry in motion.  It was a revelation.

The dancing is what sealed it for Jared; he told Chad not to set him up anymore if they guy couldn’t dance.  Jensen could dance.  And he was gorgeous. And funny. And, well, pretty much perfect.  He couldn’t wait to see him again.  Jared hoped against hope that he’d call. 

He checked in at the dorm desk for messages.  They didn’t have telephones in their rooms, so all correspondence had to go through the desk attendant.  Jared had forgotten to mention that to Jensen.  Oops.  Misha was working the desk today.  Jared liked Misha because he never knew what he was going to get.  “Hey Misha. Any messages?”

Misha glanced up at Jared and smiled in a way that was both sweet and conspiratorial.  Jared didn’t know how he did it. “There are many messages, Jared. How many would you like?”

Jared rolled his eyes. “I will take any and all messages addressed to me, please.”

Misha sifted through the piled of messages he had, mumbling “Hmm, let’s see. Here’s one – nope, nope, that’s for James.  You don’t ever go by Jasper, do you?” Jared leveled a stern look at him and shook his head. “Okay, take it easy, stretch. I know there’s one for you in here somewhere.  Whether it’s from today has yet to be determined, though.” He continued sorting through the mess.

Jared though Misha was studying botany at Berkeley, but he wouldn’t be a bit surprised if he was actually a psychology major, what with the way he liked to play with people’s heads.  “Misha, please.” He couldn’t help but sound a little exasperated.

“Bingo! Here it is! You, my good man, have a message from a ‘Jason Ankles’.” Misha smiled triumphantly and handed the paper over the desk to Jared.

Jared frowned down at the paper in his hands, the handwriting barely legible. “Jason Ankles, huh? Any chance it could have been Jensen Ackles?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Anything’s possible, Jared. I don’t have all the answers.  Just call the number back and see what happens.”  Misha plopped down in his chair and turned his attention to _Orlando_.  Jared had the sneaking suspicion that Misha knew he was gay; he didn’t know why he thought Misha knew, but there was something about Misha that, when he looked at you, it’s like he could see all of your secrets.  Misha was a weird guy.

Jared looked down once more at the paper in his hand and laughed.  Knowing Misha he wrote Jensen’s name like that to fuck with him.  But he didn’t spend a lot of time figuring out Misha’s motives because he was too excited about Jensen calling him.  He said he would, but Jensen wouldn’t be the first guy he gave his number to who said he’d call and didn’t.  Jared knew dating was difficult under the best of circumstances, and being gay in his day and age definitely constituted less than stellar circumstances.  But Jensen _had_ called, and Jared couldn’t repress the hope that maybe he’d be the last man to whom he’d give his number.

He walked over to the row of phone booths in the lobby phone booth and stepped inside one.  They afforded a nice bit of privacy when you were in them, but they couldn’t take incoming calls.  That meant that any and all messages had to go through the desk attendant.  That was less private and not always desirable.  Closing the door behind him and sitting on the little seat inside the booth Jared winced a little; the booths weren’t designed with someone of his height in mind, so his knees pressed uncomfortably against the wall opposite him.  He dialed the number Misha had scrawled on the note and waited while the phone rang.

After about five rings Jared was about to give up, but then a rather breathless voice came on the line.  “Hello, Ackles Hardware, how can I help you?”

“Jensen?” Jared asked.

“Jared?”

“Yeah, hi! Are you okay? You sound out of breath.”  The images flashing through his mind of what could make Jensen breathless made him feel tingly and a little out of breath himself.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I was straightening up in the store and I had to run to the office to answer the phone. Sorry.”

“No, that’s fine. You gave me the store number. You don’t have a telephone in your apartment?”

“Well, not really. I spend most of my time downstairs in the store anyway, but I wired this little buzzer contraption so that when I’m in my apartment it goes off when the phone rings downstairs.  It’s pretty handy, and when I don’t feel like being bothered I can turn the buzzer off.”

Jared smiled at that; Jensen wanted to be bothered by him. “Wow, that’s really a neat idea.” There was a bit of an awkward silence then.  “So…I’m returning your call.”

“Oh! Yes. Thank you,” Jensen said. “There was a reason for my call, though.  Do you like going to the cinema?  There’s a movie playing that I’d like to see and I wonder if you’d like to come with me – as my date.”

Jared jumped in his seat with excitement, successfully banging his knee on the wall in the process. “Ow! Shit!”

“Jared? Are you alright?”  The concern in Jensen’s voice made Jared’s chest feel warm.

“Ouch, Jesus. Yeah, I’m fine, I just hit my knee.  These phone booths aren’t very spacious.  Anyway, I’d love to go to a movie with you.  Which one is it?”

“It’s called _Holiday_ , starring Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn. It looks really good, and I’m a bit of a sucker for both actors.  It starts at seven.  Does that work for you?”

“That sounds great, Jensen. Um, I could stop by your place, if you like, then we can go from there.  I’d like to see your store after you talked about it last night.”

“Okay. Great. Well, how about you come by at 6:30 or so and we can walk to the theatre? It’s not far from my place.”

“Sure. I will see you then.  I’m looking forward to it.”

“Me too, Jared. Goodbye.”

“Bye, Jensen.”

Jared hung up the phone and rubbed his knee where he’d hit it.  The momentary rush of excitement he felt while he made his date with Jensen had numbed the paid, but only temporarily, so now his knee throbbed angrily.  He opened the door of the booth and unfolded himself from the cramped space.  He took a moment to stretch then glanced at the clock.  The clock happened to be above Misha’s head so he couldn’t help but notice the smirk that met him when he looked toward the desk.  Misha pulled a pocket watch out of his vest and tapped it saying, “It’s 5:30 Jared. You’d better get a move on.”  He winked at Jared and put the watch back in his pocket.

“Shit!” Jared shouted and ran through the double-doors that led to the stairwell that took him to his room.  It wasn’t until he was standing outside his room did he wonder aloud, “How the hell did he know?”  He shook off the thought and went to get ready for his date. 

Jared stood in front of his closet trying very hard not to have a panic attack.  This was a date so he wanted to look nice, but he didn’t want to overdo it.  Though he wasn’t sure what overdoing it would mean.  He decided on a light-colored suit and dressed quickly.  He stood in front of the mirror and appraised himself as he combed his hair back, hoping like hell it would stay in place for once.

As he walked to Jensen’s shop Jared reflected on the events of the night before.  He’d seen Jensen looking at him before he and Chad had gotten to their table, saw how Jensen’s mouth was hanging open a little.  It made him smile to think he could affect someone like Jensen like that.  But then he felt a slight rush of embarrassment when he remembered the moments before they almost kissed while they danced to “Moonglow.”  He couldn’t believe he’d been so forward with Jensen; it wasn’t like him to make his intentions so well known so soon, but he couldn’t help himself.  The combination of having Jensen in his arms looking all sex-mussed while the music played was heady.  Jared had been a little giddy from it, and apparently he decided to go with it and grab Jensen’s ass. And though he couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed at his actions, he also couldn’t ignore the fact that Jensen didn’t seem to mind if the way he responded to Jared’s dirty whisper was any indication.

He was nervous, to say the least.  He really liked Jensen despite knowing him for such a brief time.  It wasn’t everyday you came across someone who was so incredibly handsome you couldn’t make sense of it and who could also dance.  He wondered if Jensen felt music like Jared did; he moved like he did.  But Jared had such a strange physical reaction to music, swing especially, that he didn’t know how to put it into words.  He figured he was probably a little crazy and a lot melodramatic about the whole thing, but he just couldn’t help it.  He’d been addicted to music since we was a young boy and his mother played the violin in her study at night.  Music just _got_ to him.

He was at Jensen’s shop much faster than he thought he should be, but looking at his pocket watch he saw he was right on time.  There was a small buzzer to the right of the front door, so Jared pushed it and waited for Jensen to appear.  Moments later Jared saw Jensen emerging from the back of the store and he swallowed hard at the picture Jensen presented.  Even though it was dark inside there was enough light coming in the front window for him to see that Jensen was wearing a dark blue suit; it was slightly more casual than the suit he’d worn to The Underground, but the blue made him look ethereal.  The effect was even more stunning once Jensen opened the door and stepped out into the early evening sunlight and Jared could see details about him that he couldn’t see at the club.  The fact that Jensen had freckles on his face was one thing, but that they extended to the tips of his ears was one of the most charming things he’d ever seen.  And he knew his eyes were green, but they were subdued in the club where here, in the daylight and in that blue suit, they were blazing brightly.  Jared forgot himself entirely in that moment, which is why Jensen was waving a hand in front of his face.

“Jared? You in there?” Jensen said, snapping his fingers a couple of times.

“Yeah, I’m here. Sorry about that. I got lost in my thoughts.” He still wasn’t really blinking properly.

“What were you thinking about? It seemed pretty good, whatever it was,” Jensen winked and smiled. “I’d show you the store, but we should get going if we want to get there on time.”

“I’ll tell you all about my thoughts later,” he said, mirroring Jensen’s smile with his own.  “And I’d like to see your store, but I know we have to get to the theatre.  So, Mr. Ackles, take me on a date.”

They walked to the theatre, conversation flowing easily between them, and Jared was surprised at how interested in his work Jensen was.  Physics wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, and Jared understood that, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t get a little thrill from Jensen asking him about it.  “So Dr. Lawrence – that’s my advisor and the head of the whole project – said I was doing some really promising work on the math for the project, and he thinks I’m going to be an important physicist!”  He was nearly bouncing as he said that.  Dr. Lawrence had given him the praise not even a week ago and he was still a little high from it. 

“That’s fantastic, Jared!” Jensen smiled sheepishly, saying “Remind me who Dr. Lawrence is again?”

Jared laughed. “Oh yeah, of course. Sorry. Well, he’s huge in nuclear physics. He invented this thing called the cyclotron which helps us break down bits of matter and see how they work.  He’s actually working on building a bigger one.  Physicists pretty much just want to smash things a lot.”  Jensen smiled at him in genuine interest and Jared felt his stomach wobble a little.

“So this Dr. Lawrence really likes you, huh?” Jensen asked and Jared nodded. “And so him telling you you’re pretty much a super-genius is a really big deal?” Jared nodded again. “Man, Jared. That really is amazing. That must feel so good!”

“I can’t even tell you how good it feels, Jensen.  Especially right now. See, in Germany some physicists made a massive discovery that has to do with harnessing nuclear energy.  Well, Dr. Lawrence is sort of obsessed with that right now, so that’s what he has us working on.” Jensen looked at him inquiringly. “We are trying to see if we can actually generate nuclear energy in an artificial setting.  That’s where cyclotron comes in.”

“Damn, Jared. I can’t pretend to say I understand what you’re talking about, but if all of this sounds as important as I think it does and you’re in on the ground floor of all this, you’re going to be huge.” Jensen’s eyes were wide with wonder and he was smiling brightly. Jared wanted to kiss him to death.

“Well, I don’t know about huge. I mean, not like, Cary Grant, or anything,” he said as they’d arrived in from of the theatre and Jared motioned to the poster featuring the celebrated actor. 

“You’ll be bigger because you’re better looking.” Jensen said this as he was digging though his wallet to buy the tickets. Jared chose not to say anything in response, opting instead to enjoy the compliment.

They found seats in the back row of the balcony which was relatively empty while the lower level of the theatre filled steadily.  “I hope this is okay back here,” Jensen said. “I have this thing about people sitting behind me. It makes me really uncomfortable.”

Jared could tell there was a story there, but before he could ask the lights were dimming.  He told Jensen it was fine where they sat, but what he didn’t tell him was that we was extra glad they sat where they did because there were only three other people in the balcony and they all sat a few rows down from them.  Jared was glad for the privacy.

The screen came to life and they were treated to a Three Stooges short before the main feature.  Jared liked them, but he could tell Jensen was a big fan; he was laughing so hard Jared saw he had to wipe tears from his eyes.  He wasn’t sure how Jensen kept becoming more and more endearing but there he was, sitting in his amazing suit laughing until he cried and being unknowingly irresistible in the process.  He was like a new kind of science and Jared wanted to figure him out.

Reminding himself of his too-forward actions from the night before, Jared kept his hands to himself.  This was only the second date, after all, and Jared didn’t know how Jensen really felt about him or if he’d just been caught up in the music.  That could happen to anyone, Jared reasoned.  But, just in case Jensen wanted to maybe hold his hand, Jared wasn’t going to stop him.  He even encouraged it by resting his left hand on his left knee just to make sure Jensen knew it was available for the taking.

He was so nervous, so excited, so distracted by Jensen that he had no idea what the movie was about.  And just as he was starting to catch up with what was happening, he felt a small point of pressure on the side of his hand.  He risked a glance to his hand and saw that Jensen’s little finger was brushing lightly against his hand while his face was trained squarely on the screen.  Jared continued to watch Jensen’s hand as subtly as he could; he wanted to see where this was going.  Jensen circled his finger slowly against Jared’s hand before sliding his little finger under Jared’s so he could hook Jared’s hand.  Jared drew in a sharp breath and Jensen looked over to him, his face intermittently illuminated by the light from the movie screen, and he smiled as he pulled Jared’s hand onto his lap. 

Jensen held Jared’s gaze as he situated Jared’s hand on his thigh and placed his own hand over top and squeezed gently.  Jared felt himself break into a very large grin and turned his attention back to the film.  Jensen kept his hand over Jared’s for the remainder of the movie, but by the end Jared couldn’t have told you what it was about.  If he hadn’t been worried about what Jensen was thinking or how forward is too forward through the first half of the movie it wouldn’t have made a difference because he spent the second half of the movie unable to concentrate on anything other than the way Jensen’s leg felt.  It was strong; Jared knew it had to be, what with Jensen dancing like he could, but it was also warm and felt really, really good.  Underneath the warmth and strength and good-feeling, though, Jared could feel Jensen’s nerves.  Every now and then a slight tremor would travel through Jared’s hand from Jensen’s leg, and impossibly enough, the fact that Jensen was nervous endeared him to Jared even more.  He didn’t know what he wanted to do more: kiss him on the nose and tell him how unbelievably adorable Jared found him, or take him back to Jensen’s and show him how unbelievably sexy Jared thought he was.  He figured it was a little of both, alternating between the times he could sense Jensen’s nerves and when all he could feel was the shift of muscle under his hand.

The lights in the theatre came up and Jared reluctantly withdrew his hand.  Once out on the sidewalk Jensen asked, “So? What did you think? I thought Hepburn was pretty amazing.”

Jared scrambled for something to say other than “I couldn’t really think because you’re way more interesting than Hepburn,” so instead he said, “I really liked it.”  Wow. He felt like a real wordsmith. 

Jensen gave him a strange but amused look. “Do you want to come over for a bit? I could show you the store and we could listen to records or something, maybe have a drink.  Oh, are you hungry? I know it’s around 9 or so, so it’s late. You must be hungry.”

“Actually,” Jared said, “I’m not all that hungry.  I’m a little too nervous to be hungry.” He rubbed the back of his neck and continued, trying not to die of embarrassment, “But I’d love to come over.  The night is still young.”

 

 **Part Four**

They headed back on the same route they came, the warm night air filling Jared’s lungs and relaxing him a little.  After walking a while in silence Jensen said, “You know, Jared, you have nothing to be nervous about.  I mean, if you’re nervous about me not liking you or something – which I know sounds really egotistical – you don’t have to be. I really like you.  And I’m trying my damndest not to be nervous, so you have to not be nervous for me.” Jensen laughed weakly and Jared felt a little heartened by that.  It made him feel better, somehow, having Jensen admit to him that he was nervous, too. 

Jensen reached in his pocket and got his keys out to open the store once they’d arrived.  “Normally we’d go in the back way because there’s a staircase that leads right upstairs to my apartment, but since you want to see the store I will give you the proper tour.  He walked in ahead of Jared holding the door for him and with a sweeping motion of his arm he said, “Welcome, Mr. Padalecki, to Ackles Hardware, where you can build your hopes and dreams!”  He closed the door and locked it behind them.

“That’s quite a pitch, Jensen. Do you use that on all your dates?” Jared asked playfully.

Jensen countered with, “Only on the suckers,” he replied, smiling. “So this is it. It’s not much, but it pays the bills. I own the whole building, so I don’t have to worry about rent, but I do send money back to my parents every month.  And my sister started her own small business in Los Angeles with her husband, so I send her what I can as well.”

“Wow, Jensen, that’s really nice of you to do that for your family. I’m a poor college kid, but someday when I’m bigger than Cary Grant I’m going to do something nice like that for my family.”  Casting his eyes around the shop he noticed all the nuts and bolts and nails and tools had very specific places and the store was pretty immaculate.  “I think this may be the cleanest hardware store I’ve ever seen.” He turned away from Jensen to take in more of the store. Jared felt a little nervous still, so he kept his mouth running in case there were any awkward moments.  He hated those.  “I mean, _why_ is it so clean?” he asked, turning back toward where Jensen was eyeing him amusedly.  “Aren’t hardware stores supposed to be all dusty and rugged and – hmpf.”

Jared did get to finish his sentence because Jensen had taken that moment to kiss the daylights out of him.  Jared wasn’t sure if that was Jensen’s intent, but he was losing daylight quickly anyway.  It was a slightly inelegant kiss because Jared was thrown off-kilter by it and Jensen had to pull back from it because he’d lost his balance in whatever strange position he’d arranged himself in so that he could kiss Jared.  Jared didn’t mind the gracelessness of the kiss one bit, though.  It was soft, if slightly off-center, and warm, and it telegraphed all kinds of need.

Judging by the look on Jensen’s face after he’d pulled away spoke volumes to Jared.  He hadn’t even known Jensen twenty-four hours, so his interpretation could have been off, but the emotions playing across his face read of fear, playfulness, uncertainty, and lust.  He had to say something to Jensen to let him know it was more than okay that he kissed him, but instead of saying anything, he let himself fall into Jensen.  Of course, another awkward kiss ensued because Jensen hadn’t been expecting Jared to sort of shift all of his body weight onto Jensen’s face, so he staggered a little under Jared’s weight.  It seemed they’d both realized the ridiculousness of the situation, for their lips were together about two seconds before they both burst out laughing.

“Okay,” Jensen said as he rubbed the lip that had buffered the bulk of Jared’s weight, “I think we can do better than that.”  His eyes flashed and Jared felt heat spread through him from what seemed to be Jensen’s newly found confidence.

Jared wasn’t one to back down from a challenge – he was an almost-important nuclear physicist for fuck’s sake – so he shifted his weight to lean against a rolling ladder Jensen had for reaching the much higher shelves of the shop.  Making sure the ladder wouldn’t budge, he put on his dirtiest smile and crooked a finger at Jensen.  Then he licked his lips and said, “Show me.”

Jensen was on him before ‘me’ had left his mouth.  He lifted his hands to hold on to the sides of the ladder as Jensen pulled his shirt out from where he had it tucked into his trousers and slid his hands under it and onto Jared’s hips as his lips connected with the spot behind Jared’s ear that drove him crazy.  It was like Jensen could sense which of Jared’s buttons to push and when.  Jensen held him tightly at the waist and sucked the bottom of Jared’s ear into his mouth.  His hips jerked forward partially from instinct but also because the sensation of the warmth and wetness of Jensen’s mouth thrilled and tickled him at the same time.  “I wanted to do this last night,” Jensen gasped, “and I would have if Chad hadn’t come along at the worst possible time.”

Jensen pressed against him harder, making the rungs of the ladder dig into his back, but Jared barely noticed the pain.  If anything, it made him feel more sensitive to everything Jensen was doing.  “God, I wanted you last night,” Jared said, after he’d released his grip on the ladder and brought his hand to the back of Jensen’s head.  He could feel Jensen molding himself to him and it felt like fucking heaven.  He leaned forward slightly, tilting Jensen’s head to the side, and he licked a stripe up his neck causing Jensen to huff out a breath and thrust his hips forward into his own.

He could feel how hard Jensen was and if he was feeling anything like Jared, he was about to die if they didn’t get horizontal soon.  He wrapped his other hand around Jensen’s waist and pulled him impossibly closer to him, the hard line of their cocks brushing together through too many layers of fabric.  Jensen kissed him then, a real kiss, a fantastic kiss, a hungry kiss that promised, in Jared’s mind, about twenty delightful things, all very dirty and very fucking hot.  Jensen broke the kiss and returned his attention to Jared’s neck, nipping the skin there lightly and asked, “Do you want me tonight?”

Jared closed his eyes and breathed deeply.  He could smell the metal of the tools in the shop, whatever cologne Jensen was wearing – it was muted but tantalizing, and he could feel Jensen’s heart beating wildly against his own chest.  He spun Jensen around and pulled him flush against his body, gyrated his hips slowly, guaranteeing that Jensen could feel his cock pressed against his backside.  Jensen tipped his head back and leaned in on Jared’s shoulder, both men grinding against each other.  Jared answered Jensen quietly, too turned on to summon the volume he wanted. He whispered in his ear, “Can’t you feel how much I want you, Jensen? I can barely breathe with it.”

Jensen threw open the door and nearly dragged Jared up the stairs.  “I promise to give you the tour later,” Jensen growled as he hauled him down the hall. “But right now all I can think about is getting you in my bed.”

Jared was fine without the tour; if he didn’t get Jensen naked and on top of him soon he was pretty sure he’d have a stroke.  Once in the bedroom Jensen turned on a small lamp and immediately began undressing.  Jared followed suit; there’d be time to undress and caress and be tender some other time.  Right now, though, romance could fuck off.  Jensen was down to nothing in record time.  It was either that, Jared figured, or he’d lost time because he was too busy watching Jensen revealing more skin with every movement of his hands.  Jared’s own hands felt clumsy, his impatience to get into bed with Jensen, to be naked with Jensen, was impeding his progress on the very thing he wanted most.

By the time Jared had gotten his wits together enough to disrobe properly Jensen was walking across the bed on his knees looking like every sin Jared had ever heard of, and Jared wanted to try them all on Jensen all night.  “This goddamned tie!” Jared hissed as he loosened and pulled over his head the last piece of clothing separating him from finally having Jensen’s skin all over his.

He took Jensen’s face in his hands and ran his tongue over the bow of his lips before slotting his mouth over Jensen’s.  Jensen sighed into the kiss, opening easily for Jared’s tongue, and the contact raised goose bumps down the back of Jared’s neck.  He’d never tasted anything as sweet as Jensen.  He never wanted to taste anything else – there was no way anything could ever feel as good in his mouth ever again. 

Jensen pushed Jared down onto the bed without breaking the kiss, then positioned his legs to bracket Jared’s and rocked back and forth, brushing his cock against Jared’s.  Jared thought he was going to come out of his skin, the feeling of Jensen’s tongue and Jensen’s hard length against his nearly undid him.  He maintained as much control as he could, but a moan tore from him and Jensen swallowed it.

Jared was feverish with the need to touch.  He smoothed his hands up Jensen’s back rolling his hips up in counterpoint to Jensen’s, increasing their shared friction and making Jensen pant into his mouth.  “Jared,” Jensen gasped, “there’s so much I want to do to you I can’t fucking think straight.”

Jared snapped his hips up again and said, “You can do whatever you want to me. Whatever you want.  Just please touch me.”

Jensen seemed to regain some focus then because he moved so he was settled in the vee of Jared’s legs and started working his way down Jared’s chest – too agonizingly slow for Jared, but it still felt so good he could cry – taking one nipple in his mouth and sucking gently on it while he slid his hand down toward Jared’s cock.

Jared arched up, trying to get Jensen to move faster, trying to get him to wrap his beautiful hand around him and stroke, but Jensen seemed to want to move slower, or torture him; it was one of the two.  “Jensen, I swear to God if you don’t make me come soon I’m going to hyperventilate.” He meant to sound tougher through those words than what he actually did – they came out as more of a whine.

Jensen kissed him then and finally took Jared’s cock in his hand.  Jared let out a stuttered moan into Jensen’s mouth as Jensen swiped his palm over the head, smearing the precome down Jared’s length.  Jensen worked him slowly but steadily, and the grip he used made Jared lightheaded in the best way.  Jared couldn’t stop his hips from rolling in time with Jensen’s motions and he was lost in pure sensation.  Jensen pulled back from kissing him, and Jared looked at him just as Jensen twisted his wrist a little on an upstroke.  Jared felt his orgasm building, so he locked eyes with Jensen and whispered, “I’m gonna come, Jen. Soon.” 

Jared thought he could have lasted longer, but Jensen’s reaction to Jared’s whispered plea made it impossible.  His last thoughts before pleasure shot through him were of how beautiful Jensen looked, how Jensen breathed heavily – almost panting – as he stroked faster, how good he smelled; every thought was of Jensen.  And as the spiking bliss of the orgasm began to ebb and Jared floated back down from his high, he could feel Jensen lying next to him, hand rubbing small circles on his belly, nose nuzzled behind his ear, and hot breath against his neck.  Jensen kissed him softly and whispered, “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

Jared wanted to just lay there with Jensen forever, but the post-orgasmic fog cleared and he realized he had the sexiest man ever right next to him and he wasn’t doing a damn thing about it.  He turned his head to face Jensen and smiled at what he saw.  Jensen was clearly still very turned on, all flushed and breathing unevenly.  He felt like he should say something.  Maybe thank Jensen for the incredible orgasm.  But he had a better idea.

Without warning him, Jared hauled Jensen up on top of him.  “Jensen, I want you stay on your knees but hold on to the bedpost with both hands, okay?”  Jensen smiled a kind of ‘I’m too turned on to care’ lazy smile and did as he was instructed.  Jared shimmied down the bed under him so he was positioned in front of Jensen’s cock.  He flicked his tongue out at the tip, tasting the precome there.  Jensen gasped out a moan and thrust forward a little.  Jared smiled as a thrill ran through him. Making Jensen feel good could become a serious addiction, especially if he kept up with the breathy little whimpers he made.  Jesus.  He reached over his head and smoothed his hands down Jensen’s chest, past his stomach, and around his hips, resting his hands on what he was pretty sure was the world’s perfect ass.  He pulled Jensen forward a little, then immediately swallowed him down. 

He was rewarded with a “Holy fuck, Jared. Oh my God!” from Jensen, and it emboldened Jared a little.  He let Jensen thrust into his mouth as he created as much suction as he could.  It was ten kinds of messy, but the way Jensen was writing over top of him made it more than worth it.  Jared slid a finger through the mixture of spit and precome that was dribbling down his chin, then smoothed that finger down Jensen’s crease until he found his opening.  He pressed gently, and Jensen responded immediately with a series of shorter thrusts, sexier sounds, and shaking arms. 

“Jared, I can’t. I can’t hold on. Fuck, Jared.”  Jared could feel how close Jensen was, so he let Jensen slip from his mouth.  He flipped him over on the bed and wasted no time sucking him down again, only this time he held Jensen’s hips still.  Jensen seemed too blissed out to notice; he just buried his hands in Jared’s hair and muttered constant encouragement. 

The encouragement lasted all of about thirty seconds before he warned Jared he was about to come.  Jared didn’t move; there was no way he was going to miss tasting all of Jensen on his tongue.  So he dealt with the sharp pull on his hair when Jensen came because the feel of him, the taste of him, the way he breathed Jared’s name like a benediction, numbed any pain in that moment, and maybe any pain Jared might feel for a long time to come. 

As Jared was kissing away the aftershocks he could feel shivering through Jensen’s legs and hips he heard Jensen say, all scratchy and growly and sexy, “I hope I can still dance after that.”  Then Jensen giggled.  He actually giggled. 

 

They dozed for a bit, then Jensen rolled off the bed.  He went to the bathroom and came back with a warm, wet cloth to clean them up.  He tossed it on the floor once they were noticeably less sticky then handed Jared his underwear and then slid into his own.  “I promised you records,” Jensen said, softly, then he walked over to his player, selected one, and started it.  The music filled the room with a quiet warmth, and Jared let the sound wash over him. He immediately recognized the record as the Puppini Sisters; he had the same one back at his room.

Jensen crawled back onto the bed as “Java Jive” drifted around lazily.  Jared opened his arms and Jensen slid in next to him.  “I love these girls,” Jared said.  Jensen made a sound of agreement then nuzzled his face into Jared’s neck and breathed in deeply.  The contact gave Jared a pleasant shiver.  Jensen was warm and soft, holding Jared closely.  “I’m really glad you called me, Jen.”  He turned his head to look in Jensen’s eyes. 

Jensen moved his head back to meet Jared’s gaze. “Mm, me too, Jay. I’m really glad you like to cuddle.”  He returned to nuzzling.

Jared laughed softly. “It’s one of my best qualities.”

“Tell me more about school.  I want to know more about nuclear physics.”  Jensen’s voice was a little muffled because he was busy kissing Jared’s neck.  The kisses were soft and sweet, and Jared figured he’d do anything Jensen asked him if he asked while he kissed him like that.

“You’re really interested?” Jared asked.

“Yes. Mostly because when you talk about it you’re incredibly sexy, but yeah, it’s pretty damn fascinating.” Jensen smoothed his hand up Jared’s chest and rested it on the side of his neck he wasn’t kissing. 

Jared laughed at Jensen’s honesty. He loved how open Jensen already was with him. There was no pretention there.  It was fantastic.  Just as he was about to launch into an explanation of splitting atoms, though, Jensen let out an excited “Ooh!” and lifted his head from Jared’s neck.

“This song, Jay. This one. “Bei Mir Bist Du Schon.” I’ve been listening to this one a lot since we met. Well, since yesterday I guess. I always liked it, but now it’s just. Better.”  Jensen was stroking his face when he spoke and Jared closed his eyes to listen.  He knew the song, of course. He doesn’t know how he hasn’t worn out his record yet.  Jensen laid his head back down, and Jared let the words form before his eyes.

Of all the boys I’ve known and I’ve known some /

Before I first met you I was lonesome /

But then you came in sight /

My heart grew light /

And this old world seemed new to me

 

As he listened Jensen sang the words softly at his neck.  The song was happy, it was an expression of joy at finding someone, and Jared felt a pressure in his chest.  It grew until tears stung his eyes.  But he wasn’t sad; instead, he was grateful.  He always thought he was a little too emotional for his own good, that he grew attached too easily.  But in this room, as Jensen sang to him and ran the soft pad of his thumb over his lips, Jared knew he wasn’t alone anymore.

 

He calmed himself a little; he didn’t want Jensen seeing his strong reaction.  Not just yet.  So when the song ended and Jensen kissed him on the cheek, he decided to tell Jensen about how splitting atoms would change the world.

 

 

 **Part Five**

 

 **Jensen**

 

June turned to July, July to August, and before either of them knew it, it was the beginning of September and Jared was back in the full swing of school.  He had worked on the project for Dr. Lawrence all summer which had kept him busy, but now he was working on his dissertation as well as the project so the time he got to spend with Jensen had been limited.  The store stayed busy throughout the summer with people coming in for various tools or odds and ends they needed for their home improvement projects, so while Jensen missed Jared, it wasn’t like he could have spent all day everyday with him anyway. 

They saw each other in the evenings, mostly.  Jared didn’t have coursework anymore, so he did the bulk of his work on the project, which was the focus of his dissertation, during the day while Jensen ran the store.  They still went dancing every Friday night, they still held each other close on the dance floor when the slow songs played, and they still reveled in the feel of the fast songs that kept the moving.  Somewhere along the way they’d become the darlings of The Underground.  People made room for them when they walked out on the floor. 

Afterwards, in Jensen’s bed, they lay sated, happy, ridiculously in love, and high on the attention they’d garnered at the club.  They were careful not to be too obvious with their affection when they went anywhere else public, though; San Francisco, while more laid back than some places, still wasn’t a gay wonderland.  For what they couldn’t show each other in public they demonstrated outright at home.  Jensen never really believed he’d ever be as happy as he was.  Jared shared his sentiment.

The semester carried on; Halloween at The Underground was always a huge affair.  Jensen and Jared didn’t wear costumes, but they always dressed smartly.  Chad had shown up to the club dressed as some kind of gangster or something.  Jensen wasn’t too clear on the details.  Chad was happy, though, Jensen could tell; he and Katie had been together just as long as Jared and Jensen, and he swore he saw hearts dance in Chad’s eyes whenever Katie got up to sing.  All was right with the world.

Before Jensen knew it, he was worrying about what kind of gift to get Jared for Christmas.  It wasn’t even December yet but Jensen wasn’t the kind of guy to leave things to the last minute.  He asked Chad for ideas, but Chad had just offered really crude suggestions, most of which involved Jensen’s dick in Jared’s ass while Christmas carols played.  These ideas weren’t unpleasant to Jensen per se, but he was thinking of an actual present, like, something he could buy Jared, and well, he didn’t want to hear about Chad thinking about those things. Just. No.  He had something like twenty-seven days until Christmas.  He’d think of something. 

Jared spent more time staying over at Jensen’s than he did at his own room and Jensen liked it that way.  He loved falling asleep next to Jared, waking up next to Jared, breathing in Jared’s presence. 

It was a morning like any other when Jared stayed over.  It was a Sunday, Jensen didn’t have to open the store, so when he opened his eyes he smiled and burrowed in closer to Jared.  He wanted to stay in bed forever, but Jared woke up soon after Jensen had pushed him into a more comfortable position and wiggled out from under Jensen despite his protestations.  “Sorry, Jen,” he said. “Nature calls.  Besides, it’s almost two.”  Jensen smiled thinking of the night before, what they’d done to keep them up so late.  Images of Jared spread out and writhing under him sprang to mind.  He sighed happily.

Jensen got out of bed and started some coffee.  He turned the radio on to listen to whatever Sunday radio show was on.  What he heard instead nearly knocked the wind out of him.  He stood in front of the radio, willing it to report different news, hoping that the words “America is under attack” were something he’d imagined.  Jared came into the room.  Jensen looked up at him, knowing he’d heard the news as well if the tears running down his face were any indication.  Jensen felt tears slide down his own cheeks.  “Jared” was all he could say.  Jared strode across the room and wrapped Jensen up in his arms.  War, on any level, was a terrifying thought, and it shook Jensen to his core.  They stood like that for what seemed like hours, listening to the news, knowing that December 7, 1941 would be a day they’d never forget no matter how much they’d want to.  And selfishly, all Jensen could think about in that moment was whether Jared would be taken from him, sent to die somewhere.  He knew he wouldn’t be sent away, not with his responsibilities, but he wasn’t sure about Jared and that thought made him want to vomit.

The world had changed.  World War II had been going on for two years, but it seemed so far away to Jensen, like it was somewhere “out there.”  It was abstract.  It wasn’t real.  But now it was.  Pearl Harbor had been attacked, America was reeling, and the United States had declared war on Japan.  Everything seemed darker.  Jensen felt darker.  He couldn’t escape the melancholy that crept in when he thought of Jared in some trench somewhere.  He was melancholic a lot now.

“Apparently, the government is all over Dr. Lawrence’s ass about this project,” Jared explained over dinner one evening.  “It’s making me nervous, Jen.  What we’re doing. What we’ve uncovered.  They keep saying things like, “the potential amount of energy is staggering,” and “this could be really useful in the effort,” and other weird stuff.  I don’t like it.”  Jared wiped his mouth with his napkin, threw it on the table, and leaned forward into his hands, fingers twisting into his hair.  “I’m scared, Jen.”

Jensen slid his chair around so he was facing Jared.  He squeezed Jared’s knee. “What’s going on, Jay? Talk to me.”

Jared turned to face him, tears in his eyes.  “It’s a bomb, Jensen.  They’re taking all the work I’ve been doing and they’re trying to make a bomb with it.”

He stared at Jared blankly.  It’s not that he didn’t know how bad bombs were; of course they were terrible.  Jensen was not a fan of death and destruction on any level.  “I don’t understand. I thought you wanted to make something good.  How did this happen, Jared?”  He sounded more accusing than he meant to, and Jared stiffened.

Jared got up from the table and walked to the window.  He stared out into the darkness.  “You know all that stuff I’ve told you about splitting atoms and the cyclotron?  Well, the goal was to harness whatever energy we could from splitting those atoms and use it for powering, well, whatever we could with it.”  He turned from the window and back to Jensen, the tears rolling down his face quickly.  “Now? Now Dr. Lawrence thinks we can use what we’ve discovered to create the largest bomb in the world.  It could,” he hiccupped on a sob, “wipe out miles upon miles of land, Jensen. It’s possible it could level a country.”  He collapsed on the couch curling in on himself.  Jensen felt helpless.  He didn’t know what to do for Jared.  He couldn’t imagine the weight that he felt from the enormity of the situation.

  

  1. I didn’t know. I couldn’t have known.”  Jared’s tone became angry. “You wanna know how this could have happened, Jensen?  They used me, used my work. They didn’t ask me if it was alright. It was for energy. Now it will be for murder.”   
  



“I’m sorry, Jared. I didn’t mean to insinuate that this was your fault. I’m sorry.” 

Jared looked up at him with swollen eyes and a face that read of utter heartbreak. “Jensen, what do you do when what you live for becomes something designed to kill?”

Jensen squeezed Jared as tightly as he could. “I don’t know, Jared. Jesus Christ, I don’t know.” 

They stayed on the couch a long time, Jensen rubbing soothing circles on Jared’s chest, whispering over and over that he loved him.  Jared held on to Jensen for dear life.  Jensen did the same, wondering if Jared would somehow have to go off to war.  The thought terrified him, stole his breath away.  Jared seemed to sense his fear, though, because he whispered, after being silent for so long, “They won’t take me, Jen. Dr. Lawrence already saw to that. I’m safe because I’m apparently integral the project.”  He drew a shuddering breath and continued, “He’s keeping me safe because he needs me to make this…thing.”

“Maybe it won’t come together, Jay,” Jensen said, trying to be consoling. “Maybe it’s not all there yet, you know? Or, maybe the war will end before the project is finished. Let’s just try to have a little hope in all this.  Or something.”  He kissed the shell of Jared’s ear.  He felt Jared deflate under him.

“Yeah, okay.  I need to take my mind off all this shit. Let’s go to The Underground.  You said Christian was gonna be performing tonight, right?” 

Jensen nodded into Jared’s shoulder.  “You sure Jay? I don’t mind staying in with you.  We can do whatever you want.”

“I want to.  I don’t feel like putting on a suit, getting dressed to the nines, but yeah, I want to go.  We need to feel something other than this tonight.”

“Sure, Jared. I’m sure Chad would have a heart attack if we didn’t show up, anyway.  I think he’s in love with us _and_ Katie.”  Jensen chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. 

Jared looked at him and smiled.  A weight lifted off Jensen’s heart.  He hopped off the couch and offered Jared his hand.  Jared took it and stood, stretched his arms high above his head, baring skin where his t-shirt had ridden up.  Jensen couldn’t help but stare, and Jared caught him, of course.  It’s not like Jensen was trying to hide it.  He didn’t have to.  But Jared gave him a wink and pulled the shirt off over his head.  Jensen had seen Jared like this so many times over the last six months but it never failed to kill him a little. 

Jared stepped into his space and kissed him; it was hot and fierce and over too quickly.  Jared pulled back and smiled, cupping Jensen’s head in his hands.  Jensen snapped back from the daze Jared had just put him in and smiled back.  “Feeling better?” He asked Jared.

“Yeah. Much. Let’s go blow off some steam.”

The first Friday after Pearl Harbor no one really knew how to act at The Underground.  At the same time, it was one of the busiest nights Jensen had ever seen.  It was like people needed to just be with other people, and the music helped.  Aldis had gotten up in front of the room and made an announcement before the band began playing for the evening.  “Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for coming tonight.  I know this isn’t an easy time for anyone; I know you have brothers, fathers, uncles, and even sons fighting in the war.  But The Underground has been and always will be a safe space for you.  We all need to relax once in a while, right?”  The crowd murmured their agreement. “Well, then, relax.  Drink, dance, kiss, make love.  Do what you need to do.  But remember, we are here together. We are here for each other.  We are here for the music.  Let the music keep you sane.” And with that he snapped his fingers, the band started up, and it was as if Aldis had broken some spell the crowd had been under.  The club’s patrons exploded into cheers.  Life had returned to The Underground.  And for whatever reason that night, Jensen thought that band had never sounded better.

There had been a few Fridays since that initial Friday at The Underground, so the crowd was pretty much at ease tonight.  Well, as at ease as a crowd can be when they’re riled up on fantastic fucking music.  The band had maintained their high level of performance since that night as well.  Jensen knew it had something to do with a sense of loyalty the band members had for their missing number; some of the men had been drafted.  There wasn’t news yet of how those men were doing, but the band played for them, and they were brilliant.

Jensen did what he could for the war effort, though.  He collected aluminum and various other metals from his store and from around the neighborhood to contribute.  Business was always slower in the winter, so he wasn’t losing money, and he volunteered to help out with fundraisers and the like when they came up.  He wanted to feel like he was doing _something_ to help, even if, in the end, it was insignificant. 

Jensen shook off thoughts of the war.  He’d think about it every other goddamned day of the week.  But it was Friday, Jared needed him, and he’d be damned if he was gonna mope. 

Jensen always felt a little more alive when he heard music; he could tell Jared felt the same way.  “Sing, Sing, Sing” had become a kind of weekly standard, especially during the war, but it had always been Jared’s favorite to dance to, and tonight was no exception.  Jared hauled him out on the floor and Jensen hadn’t seen him so alive in weeks.  It was a serious turn-on.  Jensen loved Jared’s strength; the grace with which he could lift Jensen off the ground exhilarated him, and when Jared pulled him in close, Jensen made sure to grab Jared by the hips and pull them flush together.  Jared stopped dancing for a moment and he could see the realization that Jensen was hard – for him – flash in Jared’s eyes.  Jensen bit his lip and smiled playfully at Jared.  Jared pulled him even closer so he could growl “Take me home and fuck me, Jen” in his ear and Jensen was beyond giddy with desire. 

They didn’t bother finishing the song.  Jensen nearly ran out the door, pulling Jared behind him.  They made it back to Jensen’s apartment in record time though no matter how fast they got there it wasn’t quickly enough for Jensen.  He practically threw Jared down on the bed, thankful that they hadn’t worn suits because he tore the button-up shirt Jared had been wearing right off him.  Jensen felt feverish with the need to be all over Jared at once.  He was intoxicating.

“Jesus, Jen, just give me a second,” Jared laughed.  He undid his pants and lifted his hips so Jensen could pull them off.  Jensen smiled at the gasp he pulled from Jared as he licked his way up Jared’s inner thigh being careful to avoid any area Jared wanted his mouth the most.  Jensen’s goal was to make Jared feel as crazy as he did.  It seemed to be working, because Jared’s hips were working while he panted out words like “fuck,” “please,” “now,” and Jensen’s new favorite phrase, “Jesus fucking Christ you selfish bastard fuck me already.”  Goal achieved.  Jensen snickered.

“Okay, Jay, okay.”  He stood up and undressed, watching Jared as he stroked himself.  Jared looked hungry for him and it made Jensen’s heart nearly pound out of his chest.  His heart nearly exploded when Jared slid two fingers into his mouth then down between his legs.  “Holy shit, Jared,” Jensen gasped.  That was new.  Jensen had always been the one to prep Jared; hell, they both loved it.  But this was really fucking sexy.  Jensen stood and watched, getting lost in seeing Jared fucking himself on his own hand, the way his head tilted back with each push, the way he’d make eye contact with Jensen on each pull.  It was almost too much.  And the same time, it wasn’t enough.  He surged forward, catching Jared in a searing kiss. 

Jared moaned underneath him, sending waves of heat through Jensen’s body.  He needed to be in Jared now.  Jared obviously agreed with him, pulling Jensen down on top of him and reaching between them.  He took Jensen’s cock in his hand; Jensen jerked forward into Jared’s grip as Jared guided him into place. 

Jensen pressed in slowly, conscious of the need to take his time both for Jared’s comfort and so he didn’t lose it right away.  No matter how many times they’d done this, every time blew him away.  The way Jared’s body accepted him, the way Jared looked at him when he pushed in, the way Jared moaned long and low when he bottomed out; Jensen couldn’t help but think the whole thing was some kind of miracle. Every time.  “Oh my god, Jensen,” Jared said with a deep exhale.  Jensen moved his hips in a circle as he leaned down to kiss Jared. 

He moved like that for a while, slowly and gently, nipping at Jared’s lips, his neck, his ear.  He would have been happy to keep it up for hours, drawing out their pleasure as long as possible.  He’d done it before; he nearly drove himself crazy with it, but Jared had loved it – well, right up until he’d gripped Jensen’s ass and forced Jensen into him as hard as he could.  It was incredibly hot and Jensen had bruises the next day, but it was well worth it.

Clearly Jared wasn’t in the mood for sweet and slow tonight.  Jensen was sucking a mark into his shoulder when Jared reached his breaking point.  “Come on, Jen, I need this.  Need you.  Please. Fuck me.”  He turned his head to face Jensen’s bicep and bit down hard.  Jensen groaned at the pain; it shot through him and he thrust forward.  Jared reacted immediately, tilting his hips up to meet Jensen.  He laughed darkly and reached his hands back to grab on to the bed frame.  He worked his hips faster so Jensen shifted his weight to get better leverage.  He loved when Jared got demanding; it made the sex better, if that was even possible. 

At this new angle, Jensen was able to drive even harder into Jared and he was rewarded for his efforts.  “Fuck yeah. Right there, Jensen. Don’t you dare fucking stop.”  Jared kept his eyes locked with Jensen’s as he thrust in again and again, each time making Jared swear and gasp and buck upward.  It was fucking glorious.  He felt so good he wanted to cry.

He was close, so close, but he knew he couldn’t keep up the brutal pace Jared demanded and get him off at the same time.  “Jay I’m close. Let me see you.”  Jared let go of the bed and gripped himself, stroking up every time Jensen pushed back in.  Jared tipped his head back and bit his lip.  He let out a low whine and that’s all it took for Jensen.  He felt himself lock up as pleasure pulsed through him.  The intensity of it was too big, too much; he felt like his whole body was expanding, every second of his orgasm more intense than the last.  It all receded as quickly as it came, his focus returning to Jared under him, still working himself in his hand and on Jensen’s cock.  Jensen leaned down to breathe in Jared’s ear, knowing it would trigger Jared’s orgasm.  He’d told Jensen once he thought he’d come just by Jensen whispering and breathing softly in his ear – it turned him on that much.  Jensen, of course, had exploited that bit of information to its fullest extent. 

Jensen felt Jared tense up when his mouth brushed his ear. “Jared,” he said in his breathiest voice, “I wish I could make you feel as good as you make me feel.  Jesus, being inside you. So hot. You’re so fucking perfect. You feel so good around me.” 

He was going to continue with the delicious torture, but Jared whimpered, “Oh fuck fuck fuck” and Jensen pulled back to watch Jared as he came.  He was beautiful all the time, but Jensen found him heartbreakingly gorgeous in these moments.  He couldn’t describe it, just like he couldn’t describe what music did to him.  Jared was perfection.  He was all Jensen needed.  Jensen laid his hand over Jared’s, stroking him through the rest of his orgasm.

He pulled out of Jared carefully and laid next to him.  Jared was still breathing heavily, his eyes closed and a smile tugging at his lips.  Jensen leaned over to kiss his closed eyelids.  “You’re doing that thing you do, aren’t you, Jensen?” Jared asked without opening his eyes.  His smile grew wider. Jensen didn’t answer.  “You’re doing that thing where you’re trying to describe something about me but you can’t, right?  And it’s driving you nuts, isn’t it?”  Jared opened his eyes and turned to face Jensen. 

“I just hate that I can’t ever find the words I want. It’s like I don’t have the vocabulary to accommodate what I’m feeling and what you are and how I see you.” He kissed Jared softly on the lips.  “I love you never seems to encompass it all.” Jared feigned a pout. “Oh, you know what I mean. I wouldn’t tell you I loved you if I didn’t mean it, but I just need you to know that what I feel for you is just…well, it’s more than one word, okay?”  He knew Jared would understand. This was well-covered territory.

“Jen. I agree to understand what you mean if you agree to understand that I feel the same way. Words fail me all the time, too.  But this? What we are. It’s better than everything. You’re the best thing in my life. You’re better than physics, Jensen.” Jensen laughed at Jared’s joke, but he knew what he meant.  “And for the record? That was fucking amazing. I wish I could write music or something. I’d write lots of dirty songs about how good you are in bed.”

Jensen laid on his back and pulled Jared close to him.  “I love you, Jared.”

“I love you, too, Jen.”

They were asleep in what was probably seconds. Crying most of the day followed up with dancing and incredible sex took a lot out of guys, apparently.

 

 **Part Six**

 

The world kept spinning, the war kept raging, and Jensen and Jared held tightly to each other through all of it.  Christian was drafted in February.  1942 was looking grim.  Jared was nearing completion on his dissertation, but his conscience was eating him alive. 

On a bright March day Jared came over to Jensen’s after he was done working for the day and slumped down on the couch.  He brought Jared a cup of coffee.  He didn’t say anything, just sat next to Jared and waited. 

“Dr. Lawrence asked me to come to New York City this summer.  He wants me to work on the project there.  They’re bringing in scientists from Germany, Jen. Einstein had a hand in starting the project. Fucking Einstein, Jensen. My goddamned hero.” He held his coffee with a shaking hand.

Jensen swallowed back the bile that threatened to come up.  There was no way he could go to New York with Jared; he had to run the store.  He’d never ask Jared not to go, either. This was his dream. “Wow. Shit, Jared, that’s fantastic.”

“I said no.”

Jensen actually spit his coffee across the room. “You what?” he spluttered.

“I turned him down. I told him I was done with the project. I’m going to finish my dissertation. I’m going to graduate. I’ll teach here somewhere. I want to stay with you.” Jared held up his hand. “No. Now, Jen, don’t get upset. I’m not giving anything up.  I told Dr. Lawrence I couldn’t work on the project anymore, that the guilt was killing me.”

“What did he say?”

“Oh, you know, that he’s disappointed.  But he understood. He doesn’t exactly feel fantastic about the whole thing, but he thanked me for my hard work. Said he wouldn’t penalize me. He even said he’d write me a stellar letter of recommendation.” Jared looked into his coffee cup and smiled sadly. “He said he’s proud of me.”

“You deserve all the praise, Jared. You’ve done work people far beyond you in years and experience could never have done. You should be proud of yourself. I’m so proud of you.”

“I am. Proud of myself, I mean. It’s just hard, you know? I mean, what if I’d never gotten taken on to the project? Would they have had what they needed? They’re still going to take my work with them. Regardless, I’m happy with my decision. I can’t change what’s happened, and I know that for the majority of the time I believed what I was doing would help the world.  And maybe it still will eventually. But I can’t be a part of it anymore. I won’t.”

“You’ve made a very brave decision, Jared. And I would have stood by you no matter what choice you made. You’re amazing. Really. I’m so lucky to know you.”

“Thank you. That means everything to me.  Do you mind if I do some more work here tonight? The sooner I get this dissertation done, the sooner I can breathe a bit easier.”

Jared settled at the kitchen table with his books and set to work.  He watched Jared work for a minute, smiling softly at the makeshift gift he’d made him for Christmas.  Jared was always complaining about how his books would flip shut when he was trying to copy something down, and using one book to hold another open was a pain in the ass, and Jared was always huffing out frustrated sighs.  Jensen made a book weight for Jared.  Jared loved it so much he took it everywhere with him.  He even used it on things that really didn’t need weighing-down, like his pillow, or his towels.  He’d told Jensen it helped him think more clearly when he had it around. “It reminds me of you,” he’d said, “Of how you calm me. You make everything saner, Jen.”  Jensen may have cried at that.  Jared kissed every tear that fell. 

Jensen’s present from Jared amazed him.  Jared had somehow wired a battery to a light inside a little glass case; the light changed color and it would never burn out, according to Jared.  On the wooden base of the light Jared had inscribed, “J – This light, I hope, will show you how I feel when words don’t always work. Love, J.”  Jensen kept the ever-glowing ball right next to his record player.  On the nights Jared wasn’t able to stay over, the light helped him fall asleep.

Jensen worked on dinner and played some music for them.  He kept the record player low, letting the melody comfort them.  He’d almost forgotten the good news he’d gotten in the mail that day.  He stood in front of Jared. “Hey,” he said, handing over a small sheet of paper. “Got a letter from Christian today. He’s doing alright. He’s in England somewhere. Can’t say where, but he’s alive.”  Jared took the letter and read it.  He smiled.

“God, I needed that good news. Jesus. When does he get to come home? I miss him at the club.”

“Me too, Jay.  He’s gonna make it back, though.  He just is.”

“I know he is.”

They ate dinner in the quiet of the evening.  Jared asked Jensen how his day in the store was.  Jensen told him that he’d gotten his usual visit from Mrs. Caster and she’d managed to embarrass him in about four different ways by not-so-subtly asking him about their sex life.  Jared laughed, full-bodied, and Jensen fell in love a little more.  “I hope you gave her all the juicy details,” Jared said.  “We wouldn’t want her going around uninformed, would we?”  Jared picked up their plates and got them ready to wash.  “Besides, we need to stay on her good side. I need those delicious bakery treasures she brings you.  I think they’ve fueled my entire writing project.”

“It’s a damn good thing we dance so much, otherwise I think we’d be nearly dead with all the food she forces on us.”  Jared quirked an eyebrow at him. “Okay, it’s a good thing we dance and have so much sex, and we gratefully take the treats.” Jared’s eyebrow went higher. “Okay, we maybe beg for the treats. But you know what I mean.” He snapped Jared’s ass with a damp towel.  He knew he’d pay for it later, but he thought the squeal Jared let out was hilarious.

 

 

That night, for whatever reason, he told Jared he wanted to feel Jared inside of him.  Jared’s eyes went wide.  They’d been together roughly nine months and Jared always bottomed, he preferred it.  Jensen didn’t mind either way, he just wanted to make Jared feel good.  But tonight, he needed Jared to give him that. 

He was nervous.  It had been a long time since he’d been in this position; he knew it would hurt, but he also knew Jared would take care of him.  And that’s probably why he wanted to do it.  He wanted Jared to feel the connection he felt when they were together.  He laid down on the bed, and watched Jared as he climbed up toward him.  If someone were to ask Jensen what kind of look Jared had on his face (though why anyone would ever ask him that he didn’t know) he could only describe it as mixture of apprehension, anticipation, and love.  The love outweighed everything else, for sure.  It lessened Jensen’s worry. 

Jared must have been able to tell Jensen was a little uneasy because he settled himself in between Jensen’s legs, kissed him softly, and asked, “You okay? We don’t have to do this, Jen.”

Jensen kissed him deeply, thrilling, as always, at the feel of Jared’s tongue, the way it tangled with his own.  He pulled back and looked Jared in the eye. “Yeah, Jared.  I’m sure.”  Jared smiled and gave him a small nod before he leaned back on his knees.  He slid his hands under Jensen’s shirt and pushed it up over his head.  Jensen pulled the shirt over his head and tossed it the floor.  He reached back down to undo his pants, but Jared batted his hands away so he could do it himself.  He shimmied Jensen’s pants off but left his underwear on.  Jensen opened his legs wider for Jared, his nerves all but gone.  Jared mouthed at Jensen’s cock through his boxers; he hummed softly as he did, the vibrations sent delicious tremors all through his body.  He ran his fingers through Jared’s hair then pulled him up for a kiss.  They stayed like that for awhile; long, languid kisses, it was a place Jensen would have happily stayed in for a very long time, but he wanted more.  “Jared,” his voice sounded far away, like it was from someone else. “I need you. I’m ready.”

Jared stood up and undressed quickly, the sense of urgency between them built quickly.  Jensen slid his underwear off as Jared took off his clothes.  He met Jared’s eyes, gave him a smirk, and crooked his finger at him.  Jared gave him a huge, beautifully dimpled smile, and leapt back on to the bed.  There was a split second when Jensen worried Jared’s giant body would break the damn bed, but that thought disappeared when he saw Jared slicking up his fingers with lube.  Jared settled next to his side and kissed him gently as he slid a finger inside Jensen.  Jensen didn’t tense up like he thought he would; instead, he felt himself relax into Jared’s touch.  “More,” he rasped out, voice wrecked by the intensity of what he felt.

Jared slid in another finger and Jensen arched into the contact.  He was burning up on the inside, like he felt like he’d come out of his skin if he didn’t feel something besides Jared’s fingers in him soon.  He pulled Jared over top of him.  “Please, Jared,” is all he could say.  It was all he needed to say.  Jared knew how he felt.  Jared hooked Jensen’s legs up around his waist and pushed inside in one smooth motion.  They both let out deep groans.

“Jesus, Jensen. You feel amazing.”

Jensen lost the ability to form whole, meaningful sentences.  Instead he cupped Jared’s face and kissed him deeply while he circled his hips slowly, trying to tell Jared to start moving.  Jared must have gotten the message because he pushed himself up on both arms, pulled out slowly, gave Jensen a small wink, and thrust in quickly. 

Jensen found his speech then, and he pulled a giggle from Jared when he said, “Jesus fuck, Jay. Keep going!”

Jared kept up the pace, igniting in Jensen sparks of pleasure that tore through him over and over.  He didn’t know how long Jared would be able to last; if his own urge to finish was any indication he knew it wasn’t much longer at all.  “Jay, touch me – fuck – need to come.”

Jared reached between them and took Jensen’s cock in his hand.  Jensen threw his head back; Jared’s hand felt amazing on him, his grip just this side of too tight.  It only took about a minute before Jensen felt his orgasm building – feeling Jared surround him so completely was overwhelming, all of his senses alive and buzzing. 

He came with a shout; he nearly pulled the bed apart when he grabbed the headboard.  It was either that or rip Jared’s arms off.  The sheer force of his orgasm demanded he hold on tight to something.  He mumbled encouraging nonsense as Jared slammed home again and again, sending constant waves of pleasure and want through him.  He felt like he’d never come down from the high. 

“You’re so fucking amazing, Jen. So amazing,” Jared whispered, and Jensen felt Jared’s pace change.  The force with which Jared fucked into him became erratic, so he released his grip on the bed to slide his hands into Jared’s hair.

“Come for me, Jay.  Wanna feel you come inside me.”  He leaned up and kissed Jared softly on the lips.

Jared’s body jerked in response to his words, his face screwed up in a mixture of pleasure and pain.  Jensen ran his thumb across Jared’s bottom lip; he loved the way Jared looked just then, like Jensen meant more than anything, that nothing else in the world mattered.  He felt tears of happiness sting his eyes.  “I love you,” he said.

Whether it was his words that triggered Jared he couldn’t be sure – that he loved him wasn’t anything Jared didn’t already know – but no sooner had they left his mouth than Jared pushed inside impossibly deeper, his thrusts shallow, his breathing ragged, his moans louder. 

When Jared shifted his weight in an effort to move off him, he held Jared tightly and said, “Stay here, just for a minute.”  He smiled at Jared and Jared leaned down to kiss him. 

“Okay, Jen,” Jared said.  Jared maneuvered himself to lie behind Jensen, wrapping him up in long arms and managing to stay inside him somehow. 

“Thank you, Jared,” he whispered.

“I love you, too, Jensen.”  Jared kissed the back of his neck then pulled free. 

They lay together quietly, each listening to the rhythm of the other’s breaths.  There was so much left unspoken between them: the burden Jared felt because of what he’d contributed to the project, their worries about Christian being off God only knew where, the fact that despite how much they loved each other the world might not ever really acknowledge their relationship as anything other than a sin, and a host of other concerns that always danced on the periphery of their minds.

Danced.  Dancing.  That was how it all started.  Dancing at The Underground, where they could be whoever they wanted to be and they were loved because of it.  They had music. They had each other.  Everything else would have to work itself out in due time.  These were the thoughts they shared wordlessly as sleep claimed them.

 

 **EPILOGUE**

The next time they went to The Underground they were greeted with applause.  Neither Jared nor Jensen really understood why; they didn’t think they’d done anything that warranted the minor celebrity with which they were hailed upon their arrival.

They stood looking at all of the familiar faces smiling at them and clapping for them, and when Jensen turned to look at Jared to see if he knew what was going on, he was met with an expression similar to his own.  They were both awestruck and confused.

Jared was about to address their new admirers when Chad appeared behind them.  “Gentlemen! You guys at the cat’s meow around here!  I can tell by the way you’re catching flies you boys have no clue what you’ve done.  Apparently, you’re the club’s sweethearts.  I guess they think you can dance.”  Both Jensen and Jared went to respond but Chad stopped them.  “It’s not just that, though.  They heard about you, Jay, about how you refused to help with the bomb.  You’re kind of a hero.”  Chad kissed Jared sloppily on the cheek and disappeared into the crowd.

Jared didn’t know what to say.  Even if he did, there wasn’t anything he could say because the lump that formed in his throat kept him speechless.  Jensen saw Jared’s helpless demeanor and decided to distract him.  He pulled Jared through the crowd, thanking everyone he passed; eventually Jared found his voice and joined in.  The moved to the middle of the floor, the club’s other patrons creating a circular space around them.  They wanted a show. 

Jensen had met Jared at The Underground that night; Jared had to work on something in the lab and Jensen hadn’t had a chance to see him all day.  But as Jared stood in front of him, tall, beautiful, breathtaking, and looking a little shy, Jensen thought he’d never seen Jared look so good.  He almost glowed, he was so handsome, and he was wearing a suit he’d never seen before.  Jensen’s breath caught for a moment.  He remembered himself, though, and glanced up to the stage.  He and Aldis exchanged winks as he cued the band.  The song began and Jensen met Jared’s eyes. 

“Tonight, we try and just forget all the shit we’re dealing with, okay, Jared?” 

Jared grinned as “Rock This Town” began.  Jensen could tell he was remembering the evening when they first heard a recording of this song.  It was a very, very good night.  Jared pulled Jensen close to him then looked down at himself.  He asked, rather sheepishly, “How do I look, Jen?”

The world narrowed to encompass the two of them in that moment, the moment before their bodies became conduits for the music, the moment before the room would erupt with cheers meant just for them.  Jensen would lead them on the floor tonight, and he knew Jared would follow, just as he would follow Jared anywhere he led. 

Jensen squeezed both of Jared’s hands tightly in his own and said, “Like gold.”  Jared’s face lit up and they let the music take them.

 

 **END**

 

 

 

 


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